Being Lonely & Alone Will Always Be Better Than Settling

It’s hard to be perpetually single, especially when it seems like everyone around you has already met their person. It may make you feel like it’s okay to settle as long as you don’t end up alone, but that’s the wrong way to go. Lowering your standards because of loneliness will only make things worse.

  1. If you settle for the wrong one, the right one will pass you by. If you get to the point where anyone will do when it comes to a relationship, you’ll just end up with the wrong person. When that happens, you won’t be open to anyone else because you’ll be too busy trying to make a relationship work with someone you should never have been with at all.
  2. It will only make you lonelier. It’s natural to occasionally feel lonely when you’re own your own, but being in a relationship with the wrong person makes you feel alone even though you may never actually be by yourself. It can be excruciating, and you’ll feel stuck and drained in your life. It’s better to power through the periods of uncomfortable solitude when you’re single because when you do finally find the right person, you’ll never feel alone again.
  3. Settling will wear on your confidence. If you settle on anyone that will have you just because you’re tired of going through life on your won, you’ll eventually end up resenting yourself for it. You have to wait it out when it comes to finding something real. If you do, you’ll always feel worthy enough to get what you truly want.
  4. You’ll never be truly fulfilled. Settling is the easiest thing to do and when things are easy, for the most part, they don’t end up being worth it. The real fulfillment comes from accomplishing things that took time and effort to achieve. If you lock yourself into a relationship with someone who doesn’t fulfill your emotional and physical needs, you’ll always be left wanting more. In the end, your heart will thank you for waiting out the loneliness until you find “The One.”
  5. Being in a relationship and being happy aren’t mutually exclusive. When you feel lonely, you assume that being in a relationship will make you happier. Obviously, that’s just not true. Not all couples are happy and not all single people are miserable. Sure, it’s nice to have someone to share your life with, but that’s just it. If it’s not the right person, it’s harder to exist in a couple than it is to be by yourself.
  6. It’s the safe bet but there’s no payoff. Settling for someone may ensure that you won’t end up alone well into your older years, but it’ll also ensure that you didn’t fully live. True love is one of the most illusive and worthwhile things that life has to offer, so taking the safe route will only skew your ability to find it. Safe may seem appealing when you’re lonely, but it will never be what you live for.
  7. You’ll always think the grass is greener on the other side. Nothing will ever be good enough, and when you get into an unfulfilling relationship just for the sake of it, you’ll condition yourself to always be unhappy. Instead of going for everything you want, you’ll develop the mindset that there’s no point in trying because it won’t ever happen for you. Eventually, that mindset will spill over into other areas of your life.
  8. You’ll never regret being single, but you WILL regret settling. When you get comfortable with mediocre, it’s easy to just stay in that state of living, but feeling the misery of not having your person doesn’t sit with you forever. You’ll have bouts of sadness when you eat yet another dinner alone, but sitting across the table from the person you don’t love as much as you’re capable of loving will always be worse and you’ll hate yourself for wasting your own time on something that didn’t serve you.
  9. If you wait it out, the solitary time will be worth it. Unfortunately, if you don’t opt for waiting it out and you end up wasting good years of your life in the wrong relationship, there will be no purpose to those years you spent solo. That time can be used to improve yourself, find out everything you truly want, and just do whatever you feel like doing when you feel like doing it.
  10. A true connection trumps everything. You’ll never find that if you don’t wait out the waves of solitude. It’s the basis of life, connecting with someone else on a deeper level. So, although loneliness can seem like a hard burden to bear, it’s not worse than never having that connection at all because you settled for something less.
Angelica Bottaro has a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Trent University and an Advanced Diploma in Journalism from Centennial College. She began her career as a freelance writer in 2014, racking up bylines in The Good Men Project, MakeWell, LymeTime, YouQueen, and more. She eventually shifted her focus and began writing about mental health, nutrition, and chronic disease for VeryWell Health.

You can follow her on Facebook or check out her website at She also posts on Instagram @a.ct._b and Twitter @angiiebee.