Looks are a part of it, but not in the way you think.
Being conventionally pretty will only get you so far. Men like women who take care of themselves above all else. I keep my weight under control, ensure my hair stays healthy by only washing it a few times a week, and I make sure my skin is hydrated and glowy all the time. I also keep my nails trimmed and lash extensions long. Lastly, I make sure I smell good. It really is that simple.
We hear this all the time, but confidence really is key.
I don’t just try to always be myself, I try to be a more badass version of myself. I try to exude confidence by walking with my head held high, almost as if I’m on a runway. In addition, I try to speak less. You might think being loud and outgoing makes you seem confident, but it’s quite the opposite. I listen more than I talk and dudes are really into it.
Know your victim.
This is just to say, know who you’re talking to. This could include knowing his interests, his likes and dislikes or just knowing what kind of person he is. I often try to find that connection we both share and then drop casual comments about it here and there. This lets the guy know you guys have something in common and it’s very easy to go from there.
Have the basics down.
By the basics, I mean that all guys want a few general character traits in a girl. I realized this when a guy once told me he liked me because I was nice, smart, funny, pretty, and helpful. I realized he described every girl in my friend group and probably every girl ever. Most guys criteria do not go further than this, so I try to make these characteristics which I already possess some of my more defining ones.
Do something nice for them.
Sure, this can be something very obvious and directly nice, but I always try to fix a problem they’re having. Show them you’re useful! Women are resourceful as hell, so I like to put my innate skills to good use and solve an issue they’re having using a method they probably haven’t considered before. Works like a charm.
Be easy to talk to.
I don’t think it’s a secret that guys don’t often talk to other guys about personal issues—not in depth, at least. Often times, guys have a really close friend that is a girl who they’ll vent all their deepest insecurities to. My advice? Be that girl. I like to be a very easy person to talk to in general. Having a guy open up to you is easy—you just have to let them know it’s safe and that they won’t be judged.
Fear is a powerful aphrodisiac.
Careful, now. When I say fear, I don’t mean the kind that you find in horror movies. The kind of fear I’m talking about has a lot more to do with respect. Be a powerful woman, a force to reckon with and a respectable figure. These are the traits in a woman that make men cower in fear. To me, it’s more than just loving myself—it’s about always being in my own corner, being my own biggest fan and always believing and trusting in myself.
So is intelligence.
Intelligence comes in so many different forms—it’s not just something you have to earn a degree to prove. I find that my intelligence is based on my work ethic, my ability to speak eloquently, and my complete respect for others. Define what intelligence is to you and then achieve it. If it’s an MBA from Harvard, so be it, but intelligence is less about what you know but rather what you choose to do with what you know.
Pick a role and play it.
Some guys love to play the hero and they look for a damsel in distress to date. Not saying you should pretend to be this helpless, fragile girl to boost their ego, but know what they’re into and decide if you’re the kind of girl they want. Don’t try to evolve into something you’re not for a guy, ever.
Play up your assets.
This doesn’t have to be body-related. The important thing is that every woman has talents and a uniqueness to her—it’s about putting these assets on display in a way that makes you feel proud. For example, I pride myself on my intelligence more than anything and I like to engage in intellectually stimulating conversations above all else. Find that thing, or those couple things, that make you who you are and put a spotlight on them.
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