Back when I was in middle school, my friends and I tried to create “love potions” to get our crushes to fall in love with us. It didn’t work, obviously, but as I got older, I realized that there are certain maneuvers you can do to make yourself more likable as a person. Here are a few tips.
Always listen to them.
Take one week and analyze how you talk to other people. Do you interrupt them? Are you negative towards them? These aren’t attractive traits whatsoever. Listen to what someone has to say and provide follow-up questions, like, “What did you do then?” Give them literally all of your attention. It’ll make them feel important, and they’ll feel more comfortable and calm around you.
Showing someone you care about them in this type of way tells them that you have a big heart. Even if they’re facing a situation that seems common (like they’re studying hard for their LSAT’s and are nearing a breakdown, or if they got in a fight with their brother) make sure to let them know you feel for them. Even saying something like “that’s really rough” will show them you can empathize with the situation. Just make sure you don’t twist the situation and make it about you. There’s a good chance they’re not asking for life advice.
Make eye contact.
Eye contact will always be a big factor in improving any relationship. It shows that you’re focused on them, and people like that. Just make sure not to stare. If you’re a little worried that it may come off as being unnatural, try making eye contact with your parents, or siblings, and seeing what their response is like. People who you already have established relationships with are great to practice these subtle moves on.
Text them first.
Note, I didn’t say to text them excessively, just text them first. Make the first move. Text just to ask how their day was, or if they’ve got anything going on. This shows them that you’re interested in them and their life and also proves you’re confident as hell.
Make a difference.
Guys won’t fall all over you if you just stay inside every weekend, eating Cheetos and feeling sorry for yourself. Enlist in an activity that will make you more environmentally aware. Find an organization you love and actively help them out. Donating your time towards a good project shows you’re making the most out of life, and fully aware that it doesn’t revolve around you. As a bonus, you’ll also feel great by helping a good charity.
Squash the idea of social status.
Social groups and cliques happen more in high school, but oftentimes at work or during activities, you’ll also see certain groups failing to interact with others. Be friendly towards everyone. Don’t act like anyone is beneath you. That way, you don’t come off as being intimidating. Plus, you never know how many friends you’ll make by simply being more open.
People are very complex — so if your crush confides in you about something personal, respect it. Don’t laugh at it. Pretend they tell you they have crippling anxiety attacks. The solid move is to do some research and learn how to help them, and don’t just tell them to “get over it.” If they have an allergy, do your best to make sure you don’t serve or eat something in front of them that’ll spawn a reaction. Always think about how to make them as comfortable as they can be.
Give them a small present.
If the two of you had a conversation once about Snickers bars, slip them one next time you see them and tell them it made you think of them. It’s a tiny gesture that says, “Hey, you’ve been on my mind.” It could be just the pick-me-up they needed that day.
Be kind to their parents.
If you’re in a situation where you meet their parents, be courteous and respectful. Ask them questions about their lives. Then, continue to ask your crush what’s new with them. It shows you’ve bonded with the people who matter the most to them and is a perfect way to go from friend to love interest. Chances are, their parents are probably asking about you, too.
Don’t put on an act.
Just be the best version of yourself. Accept your flaws and your quirks, because that’s what makes you who you are. If this person is going to fall for you, they need to know you’re not trying to be someone you aren’t. Be real, not the person who filters their photos and dresses how they expect others want them to dress.
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