Here’s How You Make Yourself Undeniably Sexy From The Inside Out

If your love life doesn’t seem to be working out the way you’d like, it might be time to take a look at your dating technique. Nobody likes to play the dating game, but if you want to win it, consider doing these things:

  1. Text him as much as he texts you. How do you  know how often to text a guy? As often as he texts you. If you send him cute little quips throughout the day thinking he’ll be absolutely tickled you’ve been thinking about him, stop. If and when he texts you, text him back one single text. Don’t send him a “?” or a “hello?” when he hasn’t replied for six hours. This keeps up the illusion that you’re cool, calm and collected.
  2. Be authentically you. Think about your most unique traits. Now live up to them 100%. Being completely yourself is one of the best ways to up your dating game. You’re not trying to be anyone else, and that’s so attractive. If you’re a trouble maker, be proud! If you’re sweet and shy, see yourself as an angel from above. Whoever you are, own it.
  3. Don’t be so available. A bit of an old-school dating technique, but it really works. Being unavailable shows him that you have a life that he needs to work around. When you’re at his beck and call, he’s going to start putting you on the back burner. He knows you’ll always be there waiting for him, so why would he value your time if you don’t even value it yourself? Don’t shut him out completely, but don’t completely rearrange your plans just so you can see him, either.
  4. Try to be chill — even if you’re freaking out inside. Sure, you might be low-key freaking out inside, but just cool your jets until he shows some interest. Don’t get too ahead of the game. It’s fine to be excited, but if you come on too strong, you might scare away your love interest.
  5. Wear something that makes you feel awesome. You know what they always say: the clothes make the woman. Wearing something that is totally you will make you feel like you can handle anything, and we all know that confidence is super attractive.
  6. Stop looking at your phone. To up your dating game, make sure you’re engaging in the world around you. Even when you’re not on a date, actually look around — otherwise, you’ll never know when a sexy stranger is giving you the eye.
  7. Don’t over-share. Much like the “text as much as he texts you” rule, only share as much as he shares with you. If you both go deep right out of the gate, then by all means, let the life stories flow — otherwise, keep it surface level until you’ve known each other a bit longer. Be a little mysterious. Let him ask the questions. It makes you way more desirable.
  8. Believe that you’re hot AF. When you know for a fact that you look like a total babe, everyone else believes it too. It’s crazy how a little trick of the mind can completely change your experience. Believe in your mind that you are a flaming hot siren that no guy can resist. Guys will feel that energy and will start to believe it too.
  9. Have a “take it or leave it” attitude. Realize that every first-date you got on is a huge “maybe.” Try not to build it up too much in your head. Sure, you might be meeting your soulmate, but there is also a massive chance that it’ll lead to nothing. The date is just a chance to meet someone new. Be interested, but don’t be desperate. That kind of attitude makes guys a little nervous around you in a good way.
  10. Love every part of yourself — even the bad stuff. This is probably the most important thing to wrap your head around when your dating game needs fixing. If you find yourself on bad dates or never seem to attract the right guy, it could be because you don’t think you’re worth it. Start loving yourself for who you are. That unshakable confidence will be attracting guys from all directions.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.