The Man You Are Now Is Completely Different From The One I Fell In Love With

The only similarity between the man I fell in love with and the man you are now is your face. I might recognize your smile, but aside from that, you may as well be a stranger to me. Everyone evolves as they grow older, but this is why I wish you’d go back to the man you used to be:

  1. You had your priorities straight. You cared about your career, friends, family and me. You made time for every important aspect of your life, and you never made me feel like an afterthought or a burden. That was the man I once knew, but now your career is shot, your friends are gone, and you’ve put your family through hell. As for me, well, you showed me just how little I meant to you, but it still took everything in me to walk away.
  2. You didn’t care what other people thought. The only opinion that mattered was your own, and I loved that about you. You didn’t try to impress people or change yourself depending on whom you were with. You never attempted to alter your personality just to fit in. You were undeniably yourself, but unfortunately, I can’t say the same thing about you now.
  3. You treated me the way I deserved. At least, the boy I fell in love with did. The guy I ended things with was anything but boyfriend material. He took me completely for granted and forgot how to appreciate what he had. You used to lift me up, but in the end, you made me feel like I was nothing. Finally, I realized that if you couldn’t treat me right, then you weren’t worthy of me — not the other way around.
  4. You were kind to other people. You haven’t just changed the way you treat me — you’ve changed the way you treat everybody. I used to think of you as such a nice guy, but you’ve become a total jerk. The guy I dated was kind and sweet, but this new version of you is just a jerk to everyone around him. I guess it’s true what they say: “Monkey sees, monkey do.” Your new friends really shape the new you.
  5. You cared about the future. Now all you want to do is live in the moment. If you live each day like it’s your last, what happens when it’s not your last? What happens when you have no money for tomorrow? You still have to plan for if tomorrow comes. We planned a whole life together, and you threw it away in the blink of an eye. Now you want something completely different in your future, and sadly, I won’t be in it.
  6. You were a hard worker. Now you just seem lazy. You had your head on straight, but you left the determined guy you once were behind you. You stopped wanting to work and just wanted to bum around day by day, drinking with your friends to no end. You went from a man with his act together to the kid who peaked in his 20s in just a few short months.
  7. You weren’t selfish. When we started dating all you wanted was to make me happy, but now you couldn’t care less about how I feel. It’s all about you. You left everyone who used to matter in your life behind you. You’ve become a narcissist who doesn’t care about how his actions affect others. You were once so giving, but now all you do is take.
  8. You put effort into being a good boyfriend. It didn’t matter who we were with — you were never afraid to show how much you loved me. You actually cared about how I felt and how you treated me. You thought I deserved a good man and so you were a good man. Being a good boyfriend was always important to you, but the new you simply doesn’t care to even try.
  9. You never thought you were better than anyone else. I didn’t fall in love with an egomaniac, but that’s exactly what you became. Slowly, over time, you started to think that you were better than all your lifelong friends and even better than me. You had a new crowd and that brought on a new, better you — at least, that’s what you thought.
  10. You were dependable. I leaned on you and you leaned on me. You weren’t just dependable in our relationship, though; you were a damn good friend. You cared about the people in your life and were always there when they needed you. The people you loved could count on you, but now whenever they need help, you’re nowhere to be found. It’s like one day you were there and just gone the next.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.