A 30-year-old man who just so happens to have a “gorgeous influencer” girlfriend admitted that he refused to ask her to cover up more to avoid triggering a friend’s body dysmorphia. Taking to the AITA subreddit, the man explained that he and his girlfriend were attending a pool party/barbeque with a bunch f friends. One of the people at the party was their friend, 37-year-old Christine, who’d recently had a baby. She had postpartum depression and the couple was hoping they might be able to put a smile on her face, at least for a little while. However, they refused to go as far as asking his girlfriend not to run around in a bikini.
“My girlfriend Alex(26f) is a model/influencer, and as you can imagine she’s very beautiful, this is important. Everyone at the party is wearing some form of swimming gear, all of the guys are wearing trunks and tank tops or Hawaiian shirts, and the women are wearing bikinis or swimsuits. Alex stole the show however, she didn’t wear anything too revealing or inappropriate, but it did turn heads,” he wrote.
He went on to say that another mutual friend approached him and said that Christine was getting upset by Alex’s bathing suit and that it was really triggering her body dysmorphia. The man did agree to talk to Alex, but she refused to cover up as she didn’t really think it was her problem.
“I talked to Alex and she said that while she understood she didn’t understand why she had to cover up for the sake of someone else’s feelings. Needless to say, she didn’t do it. Christine ended up leaving early two hours later. Jane came up to me and said Christine left because she couldn’t stop crying,” he continued.
OP ended the post by saying that their mutual friend called them “holes” for refusing to acquiesce to Christine’s needs. However, he doesn’t think they did anything wrong.
“Now while I understand PPD is a sensitive issue and that Christine is dealing with a lot, I don’t understand how we’re aholes here. So I’ll leave it to you reddit, are we the aholes?” He asked.
Postpartum depression and body dysmorphia are serious issues, but they’re not OP’s problem
Most people agreed with OP, insisting that while postpartum depression and body dysmorphia are very serious issues, no one else should be expected to change the way they behave or what they wear to make sure someone who suffers from those issues isn’t triggered.
“It isn’t your girlfriend’s job to make Christine feel better about herself. Your gf is a person with feelings as well. Christine needs to see a therapist before she goes to parties if she feels that shitty about herself,” one commenter said.
Another added: “NTA at all. I am going to say this as kindly, yet as honestly, as I can. Christine knew she was invited to a pool party. Pool parties are known for people wearing outfits that show their bodies. If she is still struggling with body dysmorphia, then she needs to avoid triggers until she is better, and that includes environments with people dressed in a certain way.”
“You were at a POOL party. Your gf is beautiful. In no way is she at ‘fault,’ nor is Christine. All Christine has to do is turn on a tv, pull up a screen of ANY kind, or open a mag and she’ll be bombarded by ‘perfection.’ She can’t expect people to change their looks or dress for her. Having said that, I truly hope she is getting the help she needs,” a third person added.
Pretty much no one blamed OP or his girlfriend for their reaction.
What do you think?
