I was casually swiping through the piles of people on Bumble when I stumbled upon a familiar face. There was my ex-boyfriend, a decent dude I dated for only a little while and ended things with on good terms. I swiped right and turns out he did too. It was weird, to say the least.
Bumping into exes in the first place is bizarre. Whether I run into an ex in person or see their profile come across my Facebook, I generally feel weird. I know some people who are super cool about seeing their exes; they don’t catch all kinds of feelings. I’m just not one of those people. Seeing exes makes me sprial, so it’s definitely weird for me to run into one on Bumble.
I didn’t put that much thought into swiping. When I saw him, a few thoughts went through my mind, but the loudest one was, “Wouldn’t it be funny if we matched?” I just sort of shrugged and thought, eh, screw it. Not too much thought went into the decision to swipe right, though I was willing to accept the consequences of my actions.
Apparently, he didn’t put that much thought in either. I keep hearing dudes say that they swipe right for everyone. I guess that’s just a thing they do. My ex-boyfriend ended up saying that it was nothing personal that he swiped right for me because he swipes for everyone. Part of me was a little bit bummed about that, I’m not sure why! Maybe I thought that he went through some sort of weird thinking process too.
Why did I swipe? Do I want something? After the fact, I started to think about why I swiped in the first place. I told myself that it wasn’t a big deal and that it’d just be funny, but I’d also run into other exes on Bumble and didn’t have the same reaction. I swiped left on the others, so I was left with these questions swirling around in my mind as I then had to decide whether or not to message.
It was up to me to make a move. To message or not to message was up to me since it was Bumble—the site for ladies messaging first. I wish I could say I weighed the pros and cons for a long time but I pretty much messaged him instantly. I got a bit of an excitement buzz that left me with a high. I rode that feeling right into his inbox.
I still think he’s attractive. Part of me was going through his profile thinking, “Dang, he looks good.” I was thinking maybe we could just sleep together… because that’s a good idea with exes (not). Just because he’s attractive doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to jump his bones. I’m trying to remember that.
I wondered if maybe we were meant to be. I started to project into the future about what it meant that we were connecting on Bumble. Was it a divine connection? Ha, no, but that didn’t stop me from wondering. I also was trying to figure out what he was thinking and where the conversation was going to go. Good ole mindreading and projecting.
We ended up having a conversation. I messaged and he messaged me back not long after. We had a back and forth that was pretty awkward, to be honest. I was getting the feeling that he really didn’t give a crap about talking to me, so that left me unwilling to be too vulnerable or to ask many questions. Instead, we just had a banter about very on the surface things in a pretty awkward way.
The outcome is mostly sad. I don’t think our conversation is over yet. It’s still dragging on, but I mostly just feel sad. I don’t feel any better after talking or like we accomplished anything. I still don’t really know what I was looking for to happen from that, but I do know that now I’m left with a case of the sads.
Exes are better left in the past. Next time, I think I’m going to do us both a favor and swipe left. It’ll save a bunch of awkwardness and wondering what’s going to happen. Instead of swiping right, if I swipe left I’ll get to keep an ex in the past where they belong.
I’m on the dating app to meet someone new. The fact of the matter is that I’m not on a dating app to mix and mingle with exes. Rather, I’m on the dating app to meet someone brand-spanking new. I’m looking to have a fresh start with someone instead of opening an old can of worms.
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