Some guys think they’re smooth enough to date multiple women without getting caught. Spoiler alert: they’re not. Even the most organized players eventually drop the ball, leaving behind a trail of evidence that would make a CSI team proud. If you’ve ever had that nagging feeling something’s not quite right with your man, these common behaviors might explain why.
1. They Forget Key Details Of Their Cover Up Story
Here’s the thing about juggling multiple people—even the sharpest mind is bound to fumble the details eventually (and might have something to do with testosterone, according to biological anthropologist Helen E. Fisher, PhD). You know that moment when he gives you a blank stare after you mention your sister’s wedding next month, even though you’ve talked about it at least ten times? Or when he asks about your “teaching job” when you’ve been a nurse for the past five years? These aren’t just innocent brain farts—they’re classic signs of a guy trying to keep too many narratives straight. It’s like watching someone try to remember the plot of three different Netflix shows at once—eventually, the storylines start to blur.
The slip-ups usually start small but snowball into bigger gaffes as time goes on. He might accidentally reference a concert he attended with someone else, then frantically backpedal with a convoluted explanation about watching it on YouTube. Or he’ll buy you the exact same “thoughtful” gift he got for another woman because he’s running out of creative ideas. These mishaps aren’t just about forgetting things—they’re about mixing up different relationship timelines. And let’s be honest, if he can’t remember whether you’re allergic to shellfish or gluten, he’s probably got too many dietary restrictions to track.
2. They “Out” Themselves In Their Social Posts
In 2025, trying to maintain separate dating lives while being active on social media is dangerous—someone’s going to get burned. According to the Pew Research Center, among those whose partner uses social media, 23% say they felt jealous or unsure of their relationship. These guys will post a story at a rooftop bar downtown, completely forgetting that their other date’s best friend works there and just spotted them with someone else. Or they’ll accidentally leave a digital trail of their weekend activities that reads like a badly planned alibi. The best part? They’ll usually blame it on “app glitches” or claim they were “hacked”—because apparently, hackers have nothing better to do than check in at Starbucks.
They’ll frantically unlike posts, block and unblock people, and adjust their privacy settings more often than they change their socks. One minute they’re tagged at a beach with one woman, the next they’re scrubbing their entire Instagram clean like it’s a crime scene. And don’t even get me started on the LinkedIn activity—nothing says “busted” quite like your professional networking app revealing you were actually at a “business lunch” with someone who looks suspiciously unlike your coworker. Then there’s the classic move of posting vague quotes about “loyalty” and “misunderstandings” when they’re about to get caught.
3. They’re Inconsistent In The Way They Communicate With You
One day they’re blowing up your phone like a teenager with their first crush, sending you memes at 3 AM and responding faster than AI customer service. Then suddenly—poof!—they go radio silent for hours or even days, only to pop back up with the lamest excuse about how their phone “died” for 48 hours straight. Apparently, chargers don’t exist in their universe when they’re with someone else.
But wait, it gets better. When they do respond, it’s like they’re having a completely different conversation. They’ll reply “can’t wait!” to your message about your dog being sick, or send you a romantic goodnight text at 2 PM. The cherry on top? They’ll start mixing up conversations, referencing dinner plans you never made or asking about a movie you never mentioned watching. It’s like they’re playing conversation roulette with multiple chats open and they’re losing badly. Then they try to cover their tracks by claiming they were “just really tired” or “must have dreamed” about having that conversation with you
4. They Avoid Introducing You To Friends And Family
Watch how these guys turn into escape artists when it comes to integrating you into their social circle (also referred to as “pocketing,” by NBC News). They’ve got more excuses than a kid who didn’t do their homework about why you can’t meet their friends or family. “My parents are really private people”—yeah, so private they’re practically in witness protection. Or “My friends are going through a really weird phase right now”—this phase has lasted longer than most Netflix series. They’ll create more barriers just to keep their different worlds from colliding.
The excuses get even more elaborate when there’s an actual event they can’t wiggle out of. Suddenly their friend’s wedding becomes a “small, intimate ceremony” with no plus-ones allowed, or their family reunion is happening in some remote location with absolutely no cell service or possibility of visitors. They’re basically running their own parallel universes, and heaven forbid these worlds ever collide. And don’t ever try to surprise them by showing up at their regular spots—they’ll act like they’ve seen a ghost and suddenly develop an urgent need to be literally anywhere else.
5. They Guard Their Phones Like Their Life Depends On It
If you thought the Pentagon had tight security, wait until you see how these guys protect their phones. They treat their device like it contains the secret recipe for Coca-Cola, the coordinates to Atlantis, and their mom’s secret cookie recipe all in one. The phone never leaves their sight—they’ll take it to the bathroom, the shower, and probably sleep with it under their pillow. Any notification that comes through while you’re around triggers a panic response. They’ll dive across the room like they’re saving a baby from falling just to make sure you don’t catch a glimpse of their screen—a tell-tale sign of cheating, according to USA Today.
The security measures get even more ridiculous over time. Suddenly they’re adding fingerprint locks, face ID, retinal scans, and a blood sample requirement just to open their messages. Watch them try to explain why they need three different messaging apps, each more “secure” than the last. “Oh, this one’s just for work,”—right, because your workplace requires Snapchat with disappearing messages. And then there’s the classic move of turning their phone face-down when you walk by. If their phone behavior was any more suspicious, it would need its own criminal investigation.
6. They Take You To The Same Date Spots On Repeat
They’ll take you to the same three restaurants over and over like they’re stuck in a dating version of Groundhog Day. And it’s not because they’re particularly fond of the chicken parmesan at Luigi’s, it’s because these spots are their “safe zones,” carefully chosen to minimize the risk of running into their other dates. They’ve got their dating territories mapped out with more precision than a military strategist, creating invisible boundaries across the city like they’re playing a real-life version of Risk.
The moment you suggest trying that hot new spot downtown or that cute café in their neighborhood, watch them break into a cold sweat. “Oh, that place? The service is terrible” (translation: their other date works nearby). Or “I heard the food is overrated” (meaning: that’s where they take Date #3). They’ll stick to their designated date spots with dedication. The best part is when they accidentally run into someone they know at their “safe” restaurant—watching them try to act casual while simultaneously attempting to hide behind a menu is comical.
7. They Make Mysterious Weekend Commitments
Weekends with these guys are like trying to solve a mystery. Their schedule becomes more complicated than a quantum physics equation, with tons of holes. All of a sudden, every weekend is packed with the most random assortment of “unmissable” commitments—their third cousin’s hamster’s graduation ceremony, a critical work conference that somehow only happens on Saturdays, or the ever-popular “guys’ trip” that they conveniently forgot to mention until the last minute.
And when you try to nail them down for specific plans? They become masters of the vague response, giving you answers so noncommittal they make weather forecasts look precise. “I might be free Sunday afternoon… maybe… possibly… I’ll let you know” becomes their catchphrase. And the excuses for why they can’t do simple weekend activities? Pure gold. Apparently, every family member they’ve ever known chooses weekends to have some kind of crisis, and every work emergency happens precisely when you suggest a day trip. Their weekend planning skills are so sketchy, that they could write a book called “How to Avoid Commitment While Pretending to Be Committed.”
8. They Change Plans At The Last Minute Often
Suddenly their great-aunt twice removed needs help moving her pet iguana, or they’ve got an unexpected work crisis at 7 PM on a Saturday—because sure, that’s when all the major corporate emergencies happen. The excuses get so creative, you’d think they were auditioning for a creative writing competition. And let’s not even talk about how many times their car can mysteriously break down in one month.
But here’s where it gets really interesting—try to reschedule, and watch them squirm. They’ll do more calendar checking than a professional event planner, hemming and hawing about their “crazy schedule” while probably trying to coordinate with their other dating commitments. When they finally do agree to reschedule, they’ll probably end up canceling that plan too, creating an endless cycle of rainchecks. The best is when they try to make it up to you with vague promises about future plans—”We’ll definitely do something special next week!” turns into next month, which turns into never.
9. Their Financials Don’t Add Up
Here’s where these guys really start dropping the ball. One minute they’re claiming they can’t afford to split the takeout order, the next they’re spotted at some fancy rooftop bar that definitely wasn’t offering happy hour prices. Their wallet seems to have more mood swings than a teenager, and their explanations for mysterious expenses are, well, creative. “That charge at the jewelry store? Oh, that was… uh… for my mom’s birthday!”—in March, when her birthday was in September.
The funny part is when they accidentally use the wrong card or leave a receipt lying around. Suddenly they’re backtracking, trying to explain why there’s a charge for two movie tickets on a night they were supposedly working late. Watch them break into a cold sweat when you innocently ask about that restaurant charge from last weekend when they were supposedly visiting their sick aunt. The way they juggle multiple date budgets, you’d think they were running an underground dating economy. And their Venmo transactions? They’ve got more privacy settings than a government database.
10. They’re Tight-Lipped About Their Past
Try getting a straight answer about their dating history, and you’re dealing with someone who has all of the plot holes. Their ex-count changes more often than the weather, and the stories about past relationships have more versions than Windows updates. One day they’ve “never been in a serious relationship,” the next they’re accidentally mentioning their ex-fiancée—oops! The timeline of their past relationships becomes more confusing than trying to understand the plot of Inception while standing on your head.
But wait, it gets better when you start cross-referencing their stories with reality. Suddenly that “crazy ex” they mentioned becomes three different people with contradicting stories, and their college years sound like they happened in multiple parallel universes. They’ll tell one person they spent a year backpacking through Europe after college while telling another they were grinding away at their first job in Chicago during the same time period. When you innocently mention running into someone from their past, they’ll need to “use the bathroom” so badly you’d think they drank a gallon of coffee. It’s such a tangled web of contradictions, that you’d need a team of professional fact-checkers to sort it all out.
11. They Don’t Seem To Remember Your Dates Correctly
These guys will completely blank on that amazing date you had last month but can somehow remember every detail of a “work dinner” that supposedly happened the same night. Their memory becomes more selective than a picky eater at a buffet. One minute they’re forgetting your birthday (which you’ve mentioned approximately 47 times), the next they’re accidentally referencing a romantic sunset walk that definitely happened with someone else.
The real fun starts when you try to reminisce about past moments together. Suddenly they’re mixing up dates, locations, and entire experiences. “Remember that incredible Italian restaurant we went to?” they’ll ask, except you’ve never eaten Italian together and you’re gluten-free. Or they’ll swear up and down that you both loved that action movie you watched together, except you haven’t been to the movies with them in months. And when you try to call them out? They’ll try to backtrack, claiming they “must have dreamed it” or they’re “thinking of a movie trailer they saw.”
12. Their Playlists Are All Over The Place
They’ve got different romantic playlists for different dates, each carefully curated like they’re producing multiple soundtrack albums. One playlist is all about country love songs (for the girl who loves cowboy boots), while another is full of indie rock ballads (for their coffee shop date). The really funny part? They keep forgetting to switch their listening activity to private, so their Spotify feed becomes a broadcasting station of their dating schedule.
When you ask about that “Our Special Songs <3” playlist that mysteriously disappeared last week, or why they’ve been listening to “Date Night with Monica” at 2 AM when they were supposedly pulling an all-nighter at work, they’ll clam up. Their music habits leave more breadcrumbs than Hansel and Gretel, with each playlist telling its own story. The panic that sets in when they realize they shared the wrong playlist link with the wrong person is priceless, too.
13. Their Food Delivery Apps Betray Them
In the age of digital everything, these multi-daters forget that food delivery apps keep receipts longer than a grandmother keeps plastic bags. They’ll slip up and order dinner to the wrong address, or forget to delete the “special instructions” that clearly weren’t meant for your place. Nothing says “busted” quite like getting a notification that they just ordered dinner for two at an address across town when they told you they were “too sick” to meet up.
Watch them try to convince you that the Thai food ordered to a mysterious address at midnight was “just for a friend,” or that the two different Valentine’s Day dinner orders were for their mom and aunt. They’ll start juggling different delivery apps like a circus performer, thinking that spreading their orders across multiple platforms will somehow make them less traceable. The best part is when they accidentally use the saved address from their other date’s place while ordering with you.
