Sometimes sexism isn’t about screaming insults or blatant discrimination — it’s more those subtle comments, jokes, and assumptions that creep into our everyday conversations that are the worst. They might seem harmless, but they reinforce outdated ideas about women and their place in the world. Here are some of the worst offenders. If you’re guilty of saying any of these things, remove them from your vocab now.
1. “You drive/play sports/whatever surprisingly well… for a girl.”
Backhanded compliment alert! This implies women are generally bad at things, making it “surprising” when they’re competent. It also reinforces the false idea that certain activities or skills are inherently masculine. Drop the “for a girl” part, and you have a genuine compliment. Let’s ditch those stereotypes and celebrate talent without unnecessary gender comparisons.
2. “Calm down” or “Why are you so emotional?”
This one is often used to dismiss a woman’s valid feelings, and it plays into the stereotype of women as irrational or hysterical. Everyone has emotions, and expressing them is healthy. Instead of being dismissive, try asking, “Hey, what’s going on? Can I help?” Showing a little bit of empathy and offering support goes a long way.
3. “She’s probably just on her period.”
Blaming a woman’s mood, opinions, or competence on her menstrual cycle is both insulting and inaccurate. Hormones fluctuate, of course, but they don’t make women incapable of functioning. Next time, try assuming she might just be having a bad day – it happens to everyone! Don’t automatically use biology as an excuse to dismiss women’s experiences. It’s not funny or clever.
4. “Don’t be such a girl.”
Linking being female to weakness, timidity, or undesirable traits is straight-up hurtful (and harmful). It teaches boys to see femininity as negative and pushes girls to reject their own identity. Applauding bravery, kindness, and strength doesn’t require gender stereotypes. Everyone should feel empowered to be their best selves, regardless of gender.
5. “Who wears the pants in the relationship?”
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This assumes relationships have a dominant/submissive dynamic and that the man should be the boss. It’s outdated and ignores the fact that healthy partnerships are all about equality and mutual respect, not outdated power structures. Ditch those old-school expectations and embrace relationships where both partners share decision-making and support each other.
6. “You’ve let yourself go.”
Ugh, what the heck? Comments on a woman’s appearance, especially after having kids or as she ages, are unkind and unnecessary. Bodies change over time — it’s natural. Instead of policing women’s looks, focus on respecting everyone regardless of how they conform to beauty standards. People should be appreciated for who they are, not how they look. Besides, it’s not as if men are going to stay young forever!
7. “You’d be prettier if you smiled more.”
Women don’t exist to be aesthetically pleasing for your benefit. Telling someone to smile feels controlling, and pressures women to perform happiness even if they’re not feeling it. Plus, nobody owes you a smile, ever. You need to learn to respect women’s autonomy to express their emotions authentically.
8. Catcalling or making crude comments about women’s bodies.
This isn’t flattery, it’s objectification and can feel intimidating or even threatening. Women are not objects for public commentary. Want to show your appreciation? Keep it to yourself unless you already know the woman AND are sure it’s welcome. Respecting women’s boundaries is always the best approach.
9. “That’s not very ladylike.”
Scolding someone for being loud, assertive, or doing things considered “unfeminine” reinforces outdated gender roles. It implies women should be meek, quiet, and focused on appearances above all else. Let people express themselves without the constraint of outdated expectations. You should encourage individuality and respect everyone’s right to be themselves.
10. “Girls are so much drama.”
This sweeping generalization paints all women as overly emotional, petty, and prone to conflict. It ignores the fact that everyone, regardless of gender, experiences drama at times. Labeling normal relationship dynamics as “girl drama” perpetuates harmful stereotypes. Ditch the stereotypes and treat everyone as individuals, not just representatives of their gender.
11. “She was asking for it” (referring to clothing, actions, etc.)
Victim-blaming is absolutely unacceptable. No outfit or behavior is an invitation for harassment or assault. This dangerous mindset suggests women are responsible for men’s actions rather than placing the blame squarely where it belongs – on the perpetrator. Let’s challenge this harmful way of thinking and create a culture where everyone understands consent.
12. “She’s a gold digger.”
Dismissing a woman as only interested in a man’s money reinforces the stereotype that women are manipulative and financially motivated. It assumes she’s incapable of genuine attraction or love and undermines her agency within the relationship. Give women credit for making their own choices and forming relationships based on real connection.
13. Jokes about women belonging in the kitchen
It’s 2023, not 1953. These jokes aren’t funny, they perpetuate the idea that a woman’s primary place is in the domestic sphere. They also ignore the countless women juggling both careers and home responsibilities, proving this stereotype completely out of touch. Let’s leave these outdated “jokes” in the past where they belong.
14. “She friend-zoned him.”
This implies men are entitled to women’s romantic attention simply for being nice. It ignores the fact that women have a right to choose their partners based on genuine attraction and compatibility, not out of some misplaced sense of obligation. You should respect women’s choices and not pressure them into relationships they don’t want.
15. “She’s bossy.”
Often used to describe assertive women in leadership positions, while men displaying the same behavior are praised as “strong” or “decisive.” This double standard discourages women from aiming for positions of power and reinforces the idea that leadership is inherently masculine. Judge leaders based on their competence, not their gender.
16. “She should just relax and enjoy it.”
Telling a woman to brush off unwanted advances, comments, or nonconsensual touching is incredibly harmful. It minimizes her discomfort, dismisses her bodily autonomy, and contributes to a culture where harassment is normalized. Encouraging someone to speak out against disrespectful behavior is always the right call. Let’s create a world where everyone feels safe and respected.
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