I Miss My Ex & I’m Not Afraid To Admit It

I Miss My Ex & I’m Not Afraid To Admit It ©iStock/wundervisuals

My ex — or The Ex, as I like to call him — was the greatest love experience I’ve ever had. We were young and dumb, but the way we loved each other was unbeatable. We aren’t together anymore — in fact, it’s been almost a decade since we were in a relationship with each other — but I can’t shake the feeling that maybe those years apart are exactly what we needed to be able to have a functional and fulfilling adult relationship now. Am I going crazy?

  1. We loved each other in ways some people will never get to experience. The way we loved each other was intense and true. There wasn’t any doubt about our feelings in the relationship, and when a love like that exists, it never goes away.
  2. It was immature crap that tore us apart. The things that caused us to break up were the same things that always go on when you’re young and reckless and still learning to navigate the world as an independent person. As adults, all those issues wouldn’t be there to mess things up.
  3. We’re different people now. The core values we held then are probably still the same now (they are for me), but we’re more mature and better equipped to handle something so passionate. We’ve lived different lives for years now and that would give the relationship new life if we got the chance to start over.
  4. We’ve both grown up significantly. A decade will do that to a person, and in this case, we both may have grown up just enough to rekindle the romance at the same time as treating it as the special, lasting love it deserved to be recognized as the first time around.
  5. Things are different now. We’re both adults now with adult responsibilities, and that makes it easier to imagine it working out this time around. Now that we’re older and don’t have time to mess around with juvenile BS, all that would remain would be the love and our ability to work together as a team against all odds.
  6. We were a great team. It didn’t matter what we were doing, we always managed to have each other’s backs. When it came to teamwork, we mastered the ability to work together towards a common goal perfectly, and that’s one of the pillars for lasting adult relationships.
  7. I miss him, even after all this time. There’s a reason I miss him even after all these years have passed. There was something about the way he loved me and the way I loved him that is unshakable, which makes me believe that if we saw each other again, we’d pick up right where we left off — but with a clean slate.
  8. We come in and out of each other’s lives every so often. He always manages to shoot me a message every so often just to check in, and I do the same. This could be just a courtesy call — wanting to know how someone you used to love is doing for no particular reason — but if it was truly over, we wouldn’t be bothered.
  9. I can feel it. I can still feel his presence in my life, even if it’s a longing for what was. I know in my heart of hearts that if we could just start over, our love would be beautiful once again because of all the progress we’ve made separately in our lives.
Angelica Bottaro has a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Trent University and an Advanced Diploma in Journalism from Centennial College. She began her career as a freelance writer in 2014, racking up bylines in The Good Men Project, MakeWell, LymeTime, YouQueen, and more. She eventually shifted her focus and began writing about mental health, nutrition, and chronic disease for VeryWell Health.

You can follow her on Facebook or check out her website at AngelicaBottaro.ca. She also posts on Instagram @a.ct._b and Twitter @angiiebee.