Moving in together is something couples generally do when they’ve been together for a long time and are ready to take their relationship to the next level. However, when I started apartment hunting around the same time as my boyfriend of three months, we decided to throw caution to the wind and shack up. People thought we were crazy but it was actually the best decision ever.
It makes financial sense. We were already spending so much time at each other’s places anyway and it felt silly to keep paying for our own apartments when we knew we would inevitably end up at his or mine anyway. When we thought about it as the opportunity to pay half the rent for basically the same amount of space, it was a no-brainer.
We got a way nicer place. By combining our incomes on a single studio apartment instead of spreading our cash between two separate places, we were able to afford a much better apartment. The whole idea to live together actually came about because we were helping each other browse apartments and ran across one that we both loved but was way out of our individual price ranges. By combining financial forces, we had so many more options and ended up in the nicest apartment either of us had ever lived in.
We don’t have to deal with annoying roommates or live with strangers who may or may not be insane.Everyone knows how much of a headache it can be to find a decent roommate. With just the two of us, we can use our space freely without worrying about bothering anyone else. When we want to have a chill night in, there’s no one to fight over the TV or suddenly announce they’re inviting 15 friends over for an impromptu margarita and karaoke night. It’s a relief, to say the least.
We’ve learned how to problem-solve together.A huge part of relationships is being able to work together to tackle challenges, and moving into a new place always comes with its own unexpected problems. From spotty wifi and endlessly being on hold with the cable company to uninvited critters, every apartment has its own baggage. Working through those situations together has brought us closer and taught us more about how the other’s mind works.
It forces us to resolve any conflicts directly. Of course, no relationship is perfect and we’re bound to have fights at some point. Living together has forced us to confront any issues we have immediately instead of just retreating to our separate spaces. Since we can’t walk away from our problems, we have to talk through them rationally and that helps us avoid letting things simmer below the surface.
We get to know and appreciate each other’s quirks. I’ve always found that the friends I know best are the ones I’ve lived with. The same is true of a significant other. Now I know which scent of hand soap he prefers, which vegetables he hates, and the strange way he folds his laundry. It’s exciting learning all these little things about him and by living together, they’ve been revealed so much more quickly.
We don’t need to schedule time together. My boyfriend and I both have pretty busy lives and living together has taken away the stress of needing to specifically schedule time to make sure we see each other. It’s still important to build in quality time so we’re not just hanging out for a second before bed, but it’s become so much easier to coordinate our schedules by sharing a living space.
No need to worry about sleeping over and forgetting something at home. Remember the last time you slept at your boyfriend’s and ended up going to work the next day bra-less? Not if you live together! Even if you have a whole bunch of stuff stashed at his place, sometimes you’ll realize you just don’t have the right shoes to go with the dress you left there. Now I always have my whole closet to choose from and it’s amazing. It may not seem like a big thing, but it’s a definite perk for me.
We see each other at our worst and stick together through it. When I’m having a terrible day, my default strategy is to avoid everyone and sit by myself until it’s over. Living with my boyfriend, I can’t just retreat into my usual solitude and wait until I’m the best version of myself to be around him. Now we’ve both seen each other after the worst days ever and we’re able to be supportive and love each other through it anyway.
It’s just straight-up fun! This may seem like an obvious one, but we always have the best time when we’re hanging out and now we get to do it all the time. Every night is like a sleepover and I love rolling over and seeing him first thing when I wake up.
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