Why We Never Seem To Be Interested In “Nice Guys” Even Though We Swear We Want One

Why We Never Seem To Be Interested In “Nice Guys” Even Though We Swear We Want One ©Pixdeluxe

In the last few years, calling someone “nice” has become more of an insult than a compliment. It’s a lukewarm way to describe someone that you really don’t know or care about very much. Then there are all those self-proclaimed “nice guys” who whine about always finishing last. We definitely shouldn’t be punishing genuinely kind, thoughtful men for their nature, but the reality is that there can be something a bit off about one who seems too good to be true. Here’s why we never end up being interested in nice guys even though we swear that’s exactly what we want.

  1. He has no confidence. A guy who’s too nice is nice at the expense of his pride. He lets people walk all over him because he thinks being nice means letting everyone else get their way. His lack of confidence leads him straight into a vicious cycle of never putting himself out there and therefore believing he isn’t capable of much. What girl is attracted to that?
  2. He’s too afraid to make a move. If a guy lacks confidence in general, there’s no way he has the balls to ask a girl out. He feels a lot safer not trying because then he’ll never be rejected. Unfortunately, that means most girls are going to assume he’s just not interested.
  3. He thinks being “nice” is all it takes. Nice Guy Syndrome happens when a guy thinks that a girl is guaranteed to like him just because he’s nice to her. But attraction is a lot more complicated than that, and of course, not always logical. Sorry, but simply being nice isn’t enough. Not even close.
  4. He acts entitled. A “nice guy” who thinks he deserves a prize for being nice isn’t actually nice at all. He’s a douchebag. Everything he does is for an ulterior motive, and he expects girls not to see that. But we do. He’d have a lot more luck if he was genuine instead of trying to be the person he thinks girls should like.
  5. He’s not a challenge. Guys aren’t the only ones who like to chase a little bit. A lot of women are more interested in guys who aren’t immediately available. Maybe it’s counterproductive, but it’s reality. A lot of nice guys out there could stand to play hard to get just a little bit more.
  6. No girl is looking for a “nice guy” in bed. “Nice” is not an adjective you want someone to use to describe your skills in the sack. Girls like when guys are aggressive in exactly the right way and know what they’re doing. “Nice” just doesn’t inspire that irresistible sense of lust most girls are looking for.
  7. He doesn’t stand out. There are plenty of nice guys in the world, but what makes them unique? We have no idea because they never show us. They just rely on being the nice friend-zoned guy hoping that eventually, a girl will notice them. And it generally doesn’t work that way.
  8. He makes the perfect backup plan. That nice guy who clearly has a thing for you? He’ll always be there. When the guy you’re really interested in rejects you, you can call your nice guy back up and he’ll boost your ego a little. Then you’ll go right back to pining after the bad boy who will never be right for you.
  9. He doesn’t stand up for himself. Guys who are too nice are accustomed to letting life happen to them. They don’t fight for what they want, because they don’t want to step on anyone’s toes. Eventually, they realize that isn’t getting them anywhere, but it’s usually too late.
  10. He’s boring. No girl daydreams about ending up with a guy everyone describes as “just really nice”. It’s a boring adjective for a person that inspires nothing more than indifference. There’s no passion in it, and that gets old fast.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.