The Guy’s Not Playing Hard To Get, He’s Just Not Interested In You

It can be really tough to figure out how someone you’re seeing feels about you. If the guy gets distant, your first instinct might be to try harder in case he’s playing hard to get. But when is this actually the case? Half the thrill can be in the chase, but if a guy really likes you, chances are he’s not going to play coy about it for too long. If a guy does any of the following things, sorry to break it to you but he’s not enacting some complex mating ritual. He’s just not interested, so it’s time to move on.

  1. He doesn’t text you back. If a guy really likes you, he’ll respond to your text. Maybe he won’t get to it right away because he’s busy, but that shouldn’t be a regular excuse with him. If you reach out to him and he’s actually feeling it, he won’t stop himself from responding just to play hard to get.
  2. He flirts with other women. Every guy knows that he’s playing with fire by trying to juggle multiple women. None of them actually think this move will win a girl that he likes. If someone you’re talking to tries to pull this, run the other way! This guy isn’t playing hard to get, he’s trying to get other women!
  3. He refuses to make things official. Many guys will try to make excuses of why it’s a “bad time” in their lives to start a relationship. However, if he has no problem stringing you along with sex and empty promises for something more, it’s not him playing hard to get, it’s him just playing with your head.
  4. He doesn’t ask you about your personal life or offer any information about his own. Some girls will make excuses for a guy they really like, so when a guy’s lacking in the conversation department, they may assume he’s shy or just trying to come off as “mysterious.” Nope, he just doesn’t care what is going on with you and assumes you wouldn’t care about him, either (or he just doesn’t want you to get too attached).
  5. He insults you, however subtly. Some guys really do believe “negging” is a way to get women. However, none of them would use it on a woman he actually cares about because it’s just rude. If a guy goes this route with you, you’re better off keeping it moving, because chances are he’ll be selfish and bad in bed, anyway.
  6. He outright tells you he’s in a relationship. When a guy lays this big fact down, it’s time to walk away and not push boundaries. It means that he’s spoken for and he doesn’t want anything romantic with you. If he’s taken AND wants something with you, that makes him even slimier. If you take this for a sign that the guy is playing hard to get, you’re living in a dream world.
  7. He doesn’t let you stay at his place. If he won’t let you stay after having fun in the sheets, then he sees you as a booty call and nothing more. Don’t be misled by anything he says and really pay attention to actions like these, because they tell all.
  8. He won’t interact with you on social media. If he has no problem hanging out with you in real life, but makes every effort to dodge you online, then he’s up to no good. Be less worried about whether he’s playing hard to get, and a little more worried that he doesn’t want another girl seeing that you two are talking.
  9. He disappears after a date. You might think that everything went well on your date and he might just be playing a silly game by going radio silent. But this isn’t a game! This is one of the signs you’re being ghosted and he’s just not into you.
  10. He hides you from everyone else in his life. Of course he won’t tell you that’s what he’s doing, but if he hasn’t introduced you to important people in his life like friends and family, then that’s probably what he’s up to. You’re not someone to be ashamed of, so keep it moving instead of fighting him on it.

If a guy likes you, he’ll put in the effort to get to know you and make you happy. If he’s not up for doing that, then he’s just not into you.

Nicole Weaver is a staff writer for YourTango and regularly contributes to Hollywood, The Bolde, and Proud2BMe. She is a lover of all things entertainment meaning she spends most of her nights in New York binge watching television shows. Follow her on Twitter at @nikkibernice.