Why You Should Never Wait For A Guy To Be Ready To Be With You

He’s going through a tough time. He can’t focus on anything else right now, but soon — soon! — he promises you. If you could just wait for him to be ready for a relationship, that would be great. Should you? Not. Here are 10 reasons it would be a waste of your time.

  1. If he’s worth waiting for, he’ll prove it. Now, I know you’re probably thinking, “But what if he’s really, honestly having a crappy time and he just can’t have a relationship right now with all its commitments?” If that’s the case, the guy won’t ask you to wait. He’ll let you into his life and keep you updated on what’s going on. When I say don’t wait for the guy who tells you to wait, I’m talking about the guy who’s just leading you on.
  2. A guy who wants you won’t make you wait. You know the saying, “A guy who’s worth your tears won’t make you cry”? Well, a guy who’s worthy of waiting for won’t make you wait. Regardless of what’s going on in his life and how slow you have to take it, a guy who’s interested in you will make room for you in his life, not tell you to hang around until he can be bothered.
  3. You’re not a beer. You should never be put on ice. You’re not someone who wants to feel like they’re wasting their time and life on someone who isn’t letting them in right now. Would you tell your dream guy to wait because now’s not a good time? Not. So why should you wait?
  4. It feels like he’s got a hidden agenda. What exactly is happening in the guy’s life that he can’t date you? If he’s having a tough time finding a new job or he’s battling depression, then why did he seek you out in the first place? If he was on a dating app or you met in RL and he seemed keen only to then tell you he can’t have anything with you right now, that’s shady as hell.
  5. He’s hoping to control the situation. Sometimes (but not always), a guy who expects you to wait is trying to control the situation — and you. He’s hoping that by keeping you at bay he can cultivate even more interest in you. It’s sort of like playing hard to get, only more manipulative because he’s trying to gauge your interest in him without showing you how much he feels for you.
  6. He’s all talk and no action. Maybe he tells you how amazing you are and how much he’d love to be with you right now, but he just can’t. If he’s always complimenting you and telling you that he wishes he could be with you, it’ll start to get old soon. This guy is all about promising you things without actually doing them.
  7. He’s friend-zoning you. Sorry, but if you’re stuck listening to this guy who’s going through a rough patch moan about how life is so unfair on him and this happens regularly, you shouldn’t feel flattered that he’s confiding in you. He’s turning you into a friend. You’re not a girlfriend in waiting.
  8. You’ll lose momentum. Love isn’t something that you can push aside and come back to sometime in the future. It just doesn’t work that way. If you try to do that by saving yourself for this guy, then you risk losing momentum. That spark and attraction aren’t going to magically return when you’re ready for them.
  9. “Not ready” is never. There’s the guy who will tell you he’s not ready right now to get into something serious. That type of excuse for why he can’t date you is a nice (read: cowardly) way of putting you down. It doesn’t mean that you should just put everything on hold until the day when he wakes up in the morning and magically decides that he wants you. If he wanted you, he would’ve already been dating you. Nothing’s an obstacle when it comes to real love.
  10. Did he even ask? Now, this might apply to you: if you’re waiting for a guy who’s not availableƒ to date you right now, you have to ask yourself if he even wants you to wait. Did he ask you to wait? Or was it just implied? If it’s the latter, that’s even more disturbing because you’re wasting your time on someone who didn’t even want you to hang around and wait for him in the first place!
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.