Now That I’m Finally Getting Over Him, He Wants Me Back — Haha!

Out of the blue, my ex dumped me and completely shattered my heart. I was a wreck. All I wanted was to have him back even though he clearly didn’t care about me in the least. It’s taken me a really long time, but I can confidently say that I’m finally over him — and of course, now that I am, he wants me back.

  1. He seems to only want what he can’t have. He’s finally realized how wonderful I am but guess what? It’s too late. If I still wanted him back, would he really want me or would he still need space and want a chance to live the single life and see what else is out there? I’m moving on and getting over him. Maybe it really did take losing me to realize what an amazing woman he had but that doesn’t change anything for me. Too little, too late.
  2. I realized that I’m way too good for him. I deserve a better love than he gave me. I deserve a man who doesn’t have to question his love for me or whether or not he wants to be with me. I don’t want a love story of an on-again-off-again relationship. I want a man who knows every day without a doubt that he wouldn’t want to be with anyone else. I want someone who treats me like the only girl for him, not like I’m just an option. I’m way too good for a love like that.
  3. We could never go back to the way things were. I can’t pretend we didn’t spend that time apart. I can’t pretend he didn’t break my heart. I can’t forget all the pain he caused me or how he treated me when our relationship headed south. Those are actions he can never take back, so even if we got back together, we wouldn’t be happy like we were when we first started out. We’d always be fragmented by the past and that’s not the kind of relationship I want.
  4. I finally see him for who he really is. Our relationship was all about him. He doesn’t want me back because he loves me. He wants me back because of everything I did for him. He’s a user and gives nothing in return. When we were together, I thought he was “The One” but after we broke up, I finally got some clarity. He didn’t treat me right when we were together and he certainly didn’t show me any kindness in the end. He’s just not the man I thought I loved.
  5. Our breakup changed me. I’m not the girl I used to be and that’s a good thing. I’m stronger now because I survived the pain of heartbreak. I don’t look at our relationship as a complete waste of time but I do think of it as a lesson learned. I’m going to move forward, though, not back. I don’t believe in getting back together. If we could have worked things out then we would never have even needed to break up. I’m strong enough and confident enough now to realize that I don’t need a man, especially one who already had his chance and blew it.
  6. If he really loved me, he never would have hurt me. He would have never let me go. He wanted time to figure things out, but love shouldn’t be that selfish. He shouldn’t have needed to explore whether or not he loved me or if we were right for each other. He should never have expected me to wait around. Love is something you just know, so if he had to question it then it was never real. Plus, when you love someone, you care about their happiness too, and he definitely didn’t give a damn about all the pain he put me through.
  7. Part of me wonders if this is just some sort of sick twisted game. Now that I’m finally starting to move on, he comes waltzing back into my life? Sounds pretty suspicious to me—one hell of a coincidence. It feels more like he’s trying to keep me on the hook. He wants me now that I don’t want him. He wants to keep me around to feel good about himself or maybe as backup plan. Whatever his reasoning is, I’m not buying it.
  8. He should have appreciated me when he had me. All he ever did was take me for granted. I was so in love that I didn’t realize how unhealthy our relationship was until I was out of it. I was a damn good girlfriend and he was completely oblivious to that. I deserve a man who feels lucky to have me, not a man who sees me as a burden and not a blessing.
  9. The single life just wasn’t as great as he thought it would be. That’s not my problem. though. He doesn’t get to break my heart, run wild and free, and then come back like nothing ever happened. Maybe he realized that one-night stands are boring and the single life can be lonely AF. In my mind, though, he should have thought things through a little harder before we broke up. At the end of the day, he came to this conclusion far too late.
  10. It’s his turn to know how unrequited love feels. When we broke up, I wanted nothing more than to get back together. I was heartbroken and I let that cloud my judgment, but the fog has finally cleared. It killed me to watch him walk away when I still loved him but he didn’t give a damn about how I felt when he broke up with me. Now, it’s his turn to feel the pain of knowing he had an amazing woman that he just let go and he’ll never be able to have me again.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.