It sucks when it feels like you’re the only one putting any effort into a relationship. My partner stopped meeting me halfway when it came to pretty much everything, so I had two choices: I could struggle to pick up the slack or I could leave. I chose the latter and I’ve never looked back.
I was the one always reaching out. Texts, calls, setting up times to hang out—man, it was like I was our personal life planner and it sucked! It felt like my partner didn’t want to hang out with me, at all. Sure, they always agreed to the plans I made, but they totally stopped trying to reach out and make plans on their own. If I didn’t initiate contact, I was left hanging in the dust for a week or more. Not cool.
It felt awkward to hang out. When we DID hang out together, it always felt… just a little weird, like we weren’t on the same wavelength anymore. I felt like I was always trying to reach out to them but they weren’t really reciprocating the gesture. When you go from living with someone to feeling weird even being in the same room, you know the relationship is pretty much done for.
They ignored me. A lot. I know that older people like to rag on our generation for staring at our phones too much, but honestly, it’s kind of true. At least, for me it was. While we hung out, my partner just kind of zoned out into their phone which made me zone out on my phone. This meant we didn’t really spend much time together a lot.
The butterflies stopped. You know when you first start dating someone and you get butterflies in your stomach every time you see their name on your phone? Yeah, well, those butterflies vacated quickly once my partner stopped meeting me halfway. I felt nothing but a lot of frustration. Butterflies became a thing of the past.
Everything became an argument. And I mean EVERYTHING! When we started arguing about where we should go to eat for date night, I knew it was time to call it quits. There was no such thing as compromise anymore. It felt like my partner was being obstinate just for the hell of it. They didn’t want to compromise on anything, which meant I wasn’t being met halfway at all.
I didn’t like hanging out with them anymore. It sucks to admit, but my partner wasn’t my favorite person near the end. When they stopped meeting me halfway, I was totally disinterested in even seeing them. I knew that I wouldn’t have fun and that the relationship wasn’t the best thing for me anymore. Once my partner checked out, so did I.
Sex wasn’t fun. Sex became a weird obligation rather than something I did for fun with my partner. When they stopped meeting me halfway in other parts of our relationship, they definitely didn’t meet me halfway in the bedroom, if you know what I mean.
They stopped communicating with me. That’s really when I knew that my partner was done meeting me halfway in our relationship. I tried to get them to open up but they just shut down. While I was communicating openly, it felt like I was talking to a brick wall.
I started getting crushes on other people. That’s when I knew the relationship was over. My partner wasn’t meeting my emotional needs even though I was reaching out to them over and over. I was trying to give them my all and they were giving me, like, 25%, if that. My brain stopped thinking of myself as “in a relationship” and I started getting feelings for other people.
I deserved better. Really. I deserved better, and every person who’s struggling in a relationship that isn’t equal deserves better. I was giving more than I was getting and that sucked, so I left. I’m not saying it was the easiest choice or that my partner didn’t get a huge wake-up call when the breakup talk started, but I owed it to myself to get out and find someone who values me as much as I do them.
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