Supermarket Shuts Down After Spider With Erection-Inducing Bite Terrorizes Customers

An Austrian supermarket was forced to shut down for three days when a spider known to cause a prolonged and painful erection when it bites got loose in the store. The dangerous arachnid was never found, but business has since resumed.

Here’s what we know.

  1. The Brazilian Wandering Spider has an extremely deadly bite. It’s one of the most venomous spiders in the world. In addition to causing an erection, the spider’s bite can also cause nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, blurred vision, convulsions, and damage to the heart and cardiovascular system.
  2. The store manager at the Krems Penny Markt spotted the spider. It was seen in a banana box, and the manager immediately called the local fire department in to capture it. The manager described the spider as being black and red and measuring about 4 inches long.
  3. They initially suspected it might have been a banana spider. That would have been preferable, especially since they’re not harmful to humans. However, in the past, the spiders found in boxes of bananas that have been shipped from South America were determined to be Brazilian Wandering Spiders, Fox News reports, hence the panic.
  4. The store was shut down immediately. The Rewe retail group, which owns the Penny Markt discount supermarket brand, closed the shop for two days so that it could perform “comprehensive cleaning and disinfection, per the Austrian outlet NON.
  5. They never did find that spider… Brazilian Wandering Spiders aren’t small, so you would think it would be pretty hard to evade human detection. However, no spider was ever found in the store. “Despite an extensive search, no spiders have been found to date” by the responsible authorities. It is currently assumed that it will open again next week,” a spokesman for the company said. “All measures are for safety and are carried out meticulously so that the branch can be reopened.”
  6. All the fresh food has been replaced. While it’s unlikely that the spider would “bite” fresh food, the market cleared out and replaced all fresh food out of an abundance of caution. That should put customers’ fears at ease!
  7. Social media has, of course, had a ball with the story. An erection-inducing spider bite? Unsurprisingly, lots of guys quipped that they’d be happy to go in and have a look for it. I bet!

Jennifer Still is a writer and editor with more than 10 years of experience. The managing editor of Bolde, she has bylines in Vanity Fair, Business Insider, The New York Times, Glamour, Bon Appetit, and many more. You can follow her on Twitter @jenniferlstill