People Who Are Good At Small Talk Always Use These 12 Phrases

People Who Are Good At Small Talk Always Use These 12 Phrases

Engaging in small talk is most definitely an art form, as well as a skill that makes social interactions smoother and more enjoyable for everyone involved. Mastering it involves saying the right things to open up conversations, making them feel natural and inviting. It takes time to get good at, but you can start by throwing some of these phrases into your chats. You might be pleasantly surprised at how far they get you!

1. “How’s your day going?”

man and woman walking during hike

People who are really good at small talk often start conversations with this simple yet effective phrase. It opens the door for the other person to share as much or as little as they want about their day while also showing genuine interest. It sets a friendly tone for the conversation. It’s non-intrusive, yet it gives the other person the opportunity to lead the conversation into areas they’re comfortable with. Whether they choose to talk about work, the weather, or their latest hobby, this question is the perfect icebreaker that’s both casual and caring.

2. “I loved your recent post on [social media app/site].”

two female friends laughing on the couch

Mentioning something specific the other person has shared publicly, like a social media post or an article, is a great way to make small talk feel more personal and engaging. It shows that you pay attention to what they share and are interested in their opinions and activities. This phrase encourages them to open up about their interests and experiences, fostering a deeper connection. Plus, it’s a great segue into topics they’re passionate about, ensuring the conversation flows naturally and enjoyably.

3. “I’ve been looking for a good [restaurant/cafe/bookstore] around here. Any recommendations?”

two guys walking down the street

Asking for recommendations is a smart way to engage someone in conversation. It shows that you value their opinion and can lead to a discussion about local spots, preferences, and experiences. It’s also a great way to discover common interests. Plus, if the conversation goes well, it could even lead to plans to visit the recommended place together in the future.

4. “Have you been here before?”

two female friends at coffee shop

Asking someone if they’re familiar with the current setting, be it a café, a conference, or a community event, is a fantastic conversation starter. It’s a question that can lead to a variety of topics like personal preferences, past experiences, or future plans. For instance, they might share their favorite dish at the café or a memorable event they attended. This phrase not only sparks conversation but also gives insight into their likes and dislikes, paving the way for a more meaningful and relaxed chat.

5. “What’s your take on [current event or trend]?”

female friends chatting on a park bench

Bringing up a current event or trend is a clever way to engage someone in a conversation that’s both timely and interesting. However, it’s important to choose a topic that’s not too controversial or sensitive. This phrase invites the other person to share their opinions, and it shows that you value their perspective. It also opens up avenues for a lively and respectful exchange of ideas, making the conversation engaging and intellectually stimulating.

6. “That’s a great [item of clothing/accessory]! Where did you get it?”

two friends laughing at restaurant

Compliments are powerful in small talk. Commenting on someone’s clothing or accessory in a positive manner is an easy way to break the ice and make the other person feel good. It’s a light-hearted way to start a conversation and often leads to stories or details about personal style, shopping preferences, or even travel tales. It demonstrates your attentiveness and appreciation for their sense of style, creating a friendly and enjoyable atmosphere for the conversation.

7. “What do you enjoy doing in your free time?”

guys chatting on the bleachers

Asking about someone’s hobbies or interests is a tried-and-true method for engaging in meaningful small talk. It shows that you’re interested in knowing them beyond the surface level. People love talking about their passions, and this question gives them a chance to share what excites them. You might find common ground, or learn something new, both of which can make the conversation more enjoyable and memorable. Plus, it’s a great way to understand their personality better and find more topics for future conversations.

8. “What brought you here?”

two female friends chatting over coffee

This question is perfect for almost any social setting, whether it’s a professional event, a party, or even a casual meet-up. It’s open-ended and gives the other person a chance to talk about their interests, work, or personal connections. It also provides valuable context about why they are there, which can lead to more personalized and meaningful conversation. People often have interesting stories about what brings them to certain places, and this question invites them to share those stories in a relaxed and engaging way.

9. “I’ve been wanting to read/watch that! Would you recommend it?”

two guys chatting at cafe

When someone mentions a book, movie, or TV show, showing interest in their preferences can be a fantastic conversation starter. It demonstrates that you value their opinion and are open to discovering new things. This phrase can lead to a discussion about shared interests, and it’s a great way to exchange recommendations. It’s a conversation that can easily be picked up again in the future, making it perfect for building a connection.

10. “How do you know [mutual acquaintance]?”

two friends chatting on the couch with tea

If you have a mutual acquaintance, asking how they know that person can be a great way to initiate conversation. It creates a sense of shared connection and can lead to stories and shared experiences. It’s also a subtle way to understand more about their social or professional circle. This question often leads to anecdotes and may even reveal shared interests or common experiences, making the conversation more engaging and personal.

11. “I’m curious, what’s your favorite part about your job?”

two guys chatting on the stairs

This question is particularly useful in professional settings but can be adapted to more casual contexts as well. It’s a positive spin on the typical “What do you do?” question and allows the other person to talk about aspects of their work they enjoy. This can lead to a deeper understanding of their interests and motivations, and it can turn a routine topic into an engaging and positive conversation.

12. “Isn’t this weather something? Have any weekend plans because of it?”

Weather is a classic small talk topic, but adding a twist by asking about their plans gives it a personal touch. This question is light, easy to answer, and opens up various follow-up topics. It can lead to conversations about hobbies, upcoming events, or preferred activities, making it a versatile and effective conversation starter.

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Phoebe Mertens is a writer, speaker, and strategist who has helped dozens of female-founded and led companies reach success in areas such a finance, tech, science, and fashion. Her keen eye for detail and her innovative approach to modern womanhood makes her one of the most sought-out in her industry, and there's nothing she loves more than to see these companies shine.

With an MBA from NYU's Stern School of Business and features in Forbes and Fast Company she Phoebe has proven she knows her stuff. While she doesn't use social media, she does have a private Instagram just to look at pictures of cats.
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