I Plan To Marry For Security, Not Love

There are many things to take into consideration when deciding to pursue a lifelong commitment with another person. Everyone seems to think marrying for love is the pinnacle that we should all aspire to, but miss me with that. If and when I get hitched with anyone, I plan to do it for security.

  1. Love doesn’t guarantee a successful marriage. Research has shown that the high divorce rates over the last decade are linked to romantic love. Sure, you love that person now and you think the sun rises and sets in their eyes, but what happens three, five, 10 years into the union? What happens when kids, mortgages, and all the other mundanities of life come into play? If the plan is to live happily ever after, then it starts with being on a tidy financial page.
  2. Money puts the icing on romance. The truth is that everything is better with money. I used to date this guy who was always broke. He never had money to do stuff like go out or even buy food to be cooked at home. I tried to cover for us both for a long time because I loved him, but eventually, resentment started to set in. Things like buying gifts, going on vacations, and date nights are what make marriages easier. Not constantly having to worry about every penny.
  3. I don’t ever want to worry about financial problems. I don’t intend to quit my job and become a leech. The plan is not to find someone to dump all my financial burdens on. Marrying for security just means that my partner and I shouldn’t have to stretch ourselves thin to pay the mortgage or bills every month. We can live comfortably and afford the finer things in life. We don’t have to be Bill and Melinda Gates, but we should definitely not be living paycheck to paycheck.
  4. Security brings a lot of options. Marrying for security means that I can devote my time to different pursuits because money is not a problem. When you and your partner are making sense financially, then your happiness doesn’t need to suffer. You don’t have to sacrifice your dreams, values, or things that are important to you in order to make ends meet.
  5. There’s a sense of peace and joy that comes with financial stability. Instability is one of the things I hate the most in life and I work very hard to avoid it, so why should marriage be any different. I can’t imagine waking up next to someone who doesn’t make me feel financially secure, someone who is smart with money. I might love them, but I’d never be comfortable. I wouldn’t be able to relax and enjoy the relationship.
  6. It makes the partnership in marriage stronger. When you don’t have to worry about security, it makes caring for each other so much easier. With financial issues out of the way, I can focus on what’s important to me and my partner. I’d more inclined to pursue my dreams and help my partner do the same. Love comes and goes all the time, and security gives you something to fall back on when love exits the scene. It allows you to forge deeper connections beyond just emotional baggage.
  7. Security motivates you to create the life you want. I want a partner who’s financially savvy. The person I marry has to understand the importance of having investments and considerable savings. I’m more interested in someone I can relate to in terms of personal finance than in a romantic capacity alone. Love is not going to magically manifest the idea of a best life that I have in my head, but security will.
  8. It helps to see things more clearly. Let’s face it, love often clouds your judgment and keeps a person from making rational decisions. Marrying for love constantly keeps you looking at things through rose-colored lenses. I can’t count how many women I know who have given up whole careers to move to a different city or do something detrimental for the sake of their husbands. Only to end up with the shorter end of the stick when things don’t work out. That’s not going to be my portion.
  9. I’ll be better off in the long run. If my marriage ends up lasting very long, I can bask in the knowledge that I’m comfortable and happy with where I’m at in life. And if it crumbles, I don’t have to look back and regret how foolish I’ve been and mourn all the things I gave up for the idea of love.
A girl preoccupied with living her best life even when it's uncomfortable to do so. She spends a lot of time with her thoughts. She hopes you enjoy reading the results of those thoughts.