I’m A Plus Size Woman And I Love It

I don’t remember a time in my life when I wasn’t big. I know there was such a time since there’s photographic proof. But since puberty arrived, along with overnight C-cups and curvy hips, I haven’t ever been slim. Today, I embrace being plus sized—here’s why:

It’s given me license to eat whatever I want.

When I was younger, I was super self-conscious about eating around people. Then I realized that people were already judging me for being fat so I should use it to my advantage.  If I want the doughnut, I eat it. The never-ending bowl of pasta? Yes, please. Also, the fresh fruit. The wine. The asparagus and salads. All of it. I enjoy good food on my own terms. I try hard to not eat unhealthily but when I do, my choices are my choices and I don’t care what people think about them anymore. People are going to stare if you eat a salad or a burger, so eat what you want and enjoy it. Or better yet, eat some fruit and really shock them. Life is too short to deprive yourself.

My weight is a chance to correct a stereotype.

People look at overweight people and think we’re all a step away from My 600 Lb Life.Truthfully, I look at it as an opportunity to school the uneducated. No, I’m not unhealthy. My blood pressure and my blood sugar are fine. I take a shower. My eyebrows stay on fleek and I put thought and consideration into my appearance. I’m not lazy or unintelligent. I’m extremely goal-oriented but losing weight isn’t one of my current goals. I’m a functional member of society but thanks for your concern, jerks.

I’ve developed a thick skin, literally and figuratively.

People feel entitled to say or act however they want to you when they spy a muffin top. You learn to ignore the haters. When nothing bothers you, you move through life with an attitude that conveys confidence and authority. And when you don’t care about what people think, you get brave. I’m the perfect wing woman because I’ll approach anyone. I don’t back down from conflict or take no for an answer and I chase opportunities that should be out of reach. In a lot of ways, being fat gives me license to be completely authentic because I seriously DGAF.

I found my voice and my style.

Dressing a body that most designers don’t care to make clothes for has presented challenges, especially before the body positivity movement became what it is. I remember having to special order my prom dress because most local stores carried dresses that can only be compared to tents and I knew I wanted a more form fitting style. Pretty much every dress shop was disgusted at my request, so I took matters into my own hands and ordered a dress from a shop across the country, sight unseen. My dress was gorgeous and still remains one of my favorite dresses I’ve ever worn.

I don’t make sacrifices because of my size.

I know with clarity what I can wear and what I can’t. I know which areas to highlight. For so many years, designers either didn’t make plus size clothes at all or made them looking like a slightly smaller cut version of a maternity outfit. Now, form fitting, colors and patterns are all accepted and I can’t get enough. I don’t have to look like a sausage in a straight size or look like I’m in mourning in all black. Plus size brands have embraced the fun and sexy, which means I don’t have to look or feel any less trendy than a skinny girl. I have a right to look just as cute as a size 2, damn it.

I’m in a tribe of kick ass women.

Jennifer Weiner. Tess Holliday. Melissa McCarthy. Queen Latifah. Ashley Graham. Kick ass YouTube personalities like Sarah Rae Vargas and Crystal Coons. All amazing and beautiful and brilliant—and plus size. I feel lucky to have anything in common with all of them.

Big girls get plenty of love.

My love life has never suffered because of my size. Though there are groups that fetishize big women and I’m not here for that, there are plenty of men who know the virtues of loving a big, beautiful woman. I’ve found men who love a thick woman make you feel like a centerfold and the juiciest steak (in the least creepy way possible). They worship at our altar freely and without reservation. And there’s nothing sexier than a man who adores every inch of you, especially when those inches are ample.

I know what I have to offer.

Being plus size has helped shape my personality. Growing up, being smart and funny (usually without meaning to be) were defense mechanisms. Now, they’re just part of me. I’m a million things before I’m plus size: independent, empathetic and a good friend. I speak my mind. I’m a survivor of way, way rougher crap than being a big girl. And now, I have enough self-respect to not tolerate anyone who doesn’t appreciate all aspects of me, physically and mentally.

I’m all set with surgery.

There’s a lot of talk in the media and in my real life about various weight loss surgery methods. I fully support and admire the people I know who’ve done it. It’s an enormous, life changing decision I don’t think I will ever make for myself. I don’t have the time or desire to chew my food a million times. I don’t have the capacity to worry how every thing I put in my mouth will be received by my stomach or if it will come back up. I’ve had enough surgeries for a lifetime. I’ll hit up Weight Watchers if the urge strikes.

I’m afraid of who I would become if I wasn’t plus size.

If I had surgery or worked out every day and ate responsibly and lost half my weight, who would I be? I’ve spent over 20 years as the funny, loud fat girl. I know this life. I don’t know what to expect if it were to change. For me, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. I’ll stay fat and happy, for the time being.

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