Pretending Like You Don’t Care Is A Terrible — And Juvenile — Dating Strategy

Pretending Like You Don’t Care Is A Terrible — And Juvenile — Dating Strategy

Somehow we’ve reached a point in modern dating culture where pretending not to care about a person to avoid scaring them off is the go-to card to play when looking for love. It’s completely flawed — not to mention juvenile — logic, and yet here we are. Acting aloof and disinterested apparently makes us seem less crazy than showing actual interest in the person we’re dating — WTF? This is lame AF and needs to end immediately.

  1. We’re adults. The older we get, the more mature we should be about dating and finding love, so why are so many of us continuing to perpetuate the BS games and nonsense from high school? As an adult, you should know what you want and what kind of person you see a future with — if you feel it for someone, you shouldn’t be afraid to say so.
  2. Confusion isn’t fun, nor is it how a relationship should begin. Mutual love should start, well, mutually and based on a clear understanding that you’re both truly into each other. Unfortunately, that can only happen with clear communication. Avoiding a text on purpose or acting unavailable might create some mystery but it’s also annoying AF to a lot of people who are over the petty games for attention.
  3. If your feelings are going to “scare” someone away, let them go. Being vulnerable is a scary thing, and no one wants to drop their guard only to end up disappointed. But on the other hand, why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t truly like you in the first place? If a person is scared off by your genuine feelings and intentions, they probably weren’t mature enough for you or on the same level as you to begin with. Let them walk.
  4. We’re emotionally messing good people up for no reason. Far too many good people get caught in the crossfire of “playing it cool” and it’s time for it to stop. Some of us are truly looking for love and aren’t afraid to put our hearts on the line. Just because some people are less guarded and more giving with their hearts doesn’t mean they deserve to be stomped on.
  5. Analyzing texts is infinitely more exhausting than asking for honesty. I think most of us can agree that deciphering someone’s intent over cryptic texts isn’t just exhausting, it’s also completely unnecessary when we could easily skip all the drama and say how we feel. If this whole “freedom of speech” thing is such a big deal, why can’t we be free with the speech of our hearts in love and dating as well?
  6. If we can’t date like grownups, we shouldn’t be dating at all. If you’re the type that gets scared off when someone is into you, you’re wasting precious space among the sea of amazing singles who are actually looking for something real. Please do us all a favor and take a seat until you figure out what you want and aren’t afraid to show it and say how you feel like a grownup.
  7. Finding love is about being vulnerable and takings risks. Finding love is no easy task, but if you want the grand reward of an amazing relationship and the perfect life partner, then you need to be more vulnerable with your heart and take risks with your feelings knowing there’s a chance they may not be felt the same way back. As scary as it might seem, facing obstacles and getting your heart broken is part of the journey.
  8. Being mysterious is overrated. Acting disinterested or faking a busy schedule to come off as aloof doesn’t make a person mysterious; it makes them manipulative and untruthful of who they truly are. Mystery in a person should be viewed in other ways. Things like, “I wonder how she got that scar?” or “I wonder what his childhood was like?” Why are we so entertained and aroused by the mystery of what a person is doing and why they’re not responding instead of the mystery of who they are as a person? Think about it.
  9. Disappointment is part of the process, whether we like it or not. If we all cut the BS and starting putting our hearts on the line more, sure, we’re bound to face more disappointments and nurse wounds to our egos — but the alternative of being caught in a state of confusion and faking how we truly feel seems like the real losing battle. Remember, being let down by love is all part of the journey to finding it, so let’s stop pretending we don’t want it and start chasing it like a summer sunset, no matter how many times we get knocked down along the way.
  10. We need to all just be our damn selves! This is getting ridiculous. There are too many unnecessary rules to dating these days, and not only do many of them make zero sense, they’re also crippling something that should be really simple. We’re all just our own unique selves looking for the perfect people to match our souls, so why the heck do we think that playing it cool and hiding our feelings is going to help us to find that right person for us? The sooner we stop playing games and get back to being ourselves, the better this dating society will become. It’s time to grow up.