Why A Guy Pushes You Away Even Though He Loves You


Your relationship was going so well until all of a sudden, your boyfriend starts to push you away. It’s easy to start obsessing about whether you did something wrong and questioning whether he’s decided he doesn’t love you anymore, but don’t do that. Chances are, the guy is pushing you away for reasons that are all his own. Here are a few possibilities for what could be going on.

  1. He’s afraid of getting hurt. Sure, it’s a bit of a cop-out and pretty cliche to say that a guy is likely to push you away when he’s afraid of getting hurt, but it’s true. Maybe he had a bad experience in the past that left him heartbroken and terrified of loving anyone again. That’s bound to scar, so it’s no wonder he’s freaking out now that he finds himself in a relationship again. That doesn’t make it excusable, but it does make it slightly easier to understand.
  2. It’s moving too fast for him. If your relationship has gone from zero to 100 pretty much overnight, you can’t really blame the guy for getting cold feet. He’s crazy about you and excited to be with you, but he’s also hesitant to keep moving at warp speed. He pushes you away in an effort to slow things down a bit when really, he could just talk to you like a mature adult.
  3. He’s scared of the intensity of his feelings for you. Again, another eye-roller, but hear me out. Generally speaking, men aren’t quite as adept at handling their emotions as women are. This means that they get freaked out more easily, especially when they really, really like someone. If the guy worries that he likes you a little too much or he’s never felt as strongly about any other woman, it’s no wonder he pushes you away. Hopefully he’ll get over himself soon before you decide to walk away.
  4. He’s doubting you/the relationship. One caveat before we go any further: just because he’s having doubts doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you or doesn’t want to be with you. That’s not necessarily the case! It’s natural for everyone to wonder from time to time if they’re with the right person/in the right relationship, and maybe that’s what’s up with him. He just needs to hope you don’t get sick of waiting around and decide to go be with someone who’s sure about you from the start.
  5. He’s got other stuff going on in his life. At the end of the day, it could simply come down to the fact that he’s got other stuff going on in his life right now. Maybe he’s got a lot of stress happening at work or he’s focusing on something else right now like training for a marathon or helping his sister through a divorce. Whatever’s going on in this case isn’t about you, so the best thing you can do is be there to support him.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia