When you first get involved with a guy, it’s normal to wonder exactly how important you are to him. Are you his first thought when he wakes or do you only pop into his head when he’s had a few drinks and finds himself with an inconvenient hard-on? Guys are fickle and hard to read sometimes, but there are ways to tell whether you’re an actual priority to him or just a distraction.

If you’re a priority, he’ll text you first.

It can be scary to text a guy first, especially after you’ve been called crazy or clingy for something so innocent. If you’re actually a priority to a guy, you won’t be sitting around debating whether it’s okay to text him; he’ll reach out to you first because talking to you is really important to him.

He remembers things that are important to you.

If a guy remembers that you had a big presentation at work, an upcoming vacation, or anything else important to your life, it means that you’re a true priority in his life. If you’re just a distraction, he’ll only think of you when it’s convenient for him.

He doesn’t let a day go by without talking to you.

If you’re a priority to a guy, he’ll want to connect with you every day. If he only contacts you occasionally or when he wants something, you’re just a distraction.

He isn’t seeing anyone else and has made that clear.

If you’re just a distraction to a guy, he’ll try to be as ambiguous as possible about your status in his life. If you’re a real priority to him, he’ll make it clear that he’s not interested in being with anyone else because he’s hoping you feel the same way (and doesn’t want to compete with other guys for your attention).

He talks about the future and you’re in his plans.

It’s easy to tell if you’re a priority or a distraction by listening to the way he describes the future. If he speaks only about his own plans and goals, you’re probably just a distraction. If he describes plans that include you, it’s a dead giveaway that you’re important to him.

He makes plans with you during the day.

If you’re just a distraction to a guy, he won’t waste his daylight hours on you; you’ll usually only hear from him after the sun goes down. If you’re a priority, on the other hand, he’ll want to take you out to brunch or go for a walk in the park together.

His friends/family know about you.

One of the biggest indicators of your importance in a man’s life is whether his family and friends know about you. If you’re a real priority, he won’t be able to stop himself from telling his loved ones about you. If you’re just a distraction, however, they won’t even know your name.

He does little things to show you that you’re important to him.

When you’re a priority to a guy, he does little things all the time to show you how important you are to him. He’ll send the cute good morning text, send flowers just because, and be there for you when he knows you need support without you having to ask. It’s like being a member of the best VIP club in the world; you know you’re valued and get constant reminders of how important you are to him.

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