I’ve Put Everyone Else First For Too Long — It’s Time To Make Myself A Priority

I’m guilty of putting other people’s needs above my own and I realize now that it has to change. If I carry on putting other people first while ignoring what I need then I’m going to damage my relationship with myself, and that’s something that I should be working on. I’ve had a lot of time to think about what I want and this is what needs to change.

  1. I need to have the same belief in myself that others do. I’ve always been the type of person who seeks the approval of others. I need someone to tell me that I’m good at something for me to actually believe it. Why can’t I just accept that I’m a great person who has talents? Why do other people’s words have more value than my own? I’m tired of it. It’s about time that I start believing in myself the same way that other people do.
  2. I’m going to start enjoying my own company more. As much as I love spending time with my partner and close friends, I need to be able to still be happy when I’m by myself. I’ve neglected my relationship with myself for so many years that I don’t really know to build it up. But I’m going to try. I’m going to plan more solo trips in the future, whether it’s going to a coffee shop or a day out shopping, and I’m going to have a good time.
  3. I’m making more time for my hobbies. In the past, I’ve put off doing the things that I enjoy like drawing and photography because I don’t think I’m very good at it. But I’m trying to remind myself that nobody ever gets good at something without practice. Besides, you can still have hobbies that you aren’t a pro at. It’s about enjoyment, not about being the best.
  4. I’m going to take my career more seriously. Anxiety has held me back from a lot of things in life and going after my career goals has been one of them. Sure, I’ve had jobs, but they’ve never meant anything to me. Recently I decided to pursue writing again as it’s something that I’m genuinely passionate about and it feels like I’ve finally put myself first. I’m not accepting second best anymore.
  5. I’ll cut people out of my life if they are bringing me down. I don’t have time to talk to people who don’t bring anything good into my life. If I’m going to put myself first, that means surrounding myself with people who love and support me and choosing to block out the people who don’t. If they aren’t making me happy, they need to go.
  6. I’ll try not to compare myself to others. I know that most people are guilty of comparing themselves to other people but it’s a habit that I need to break. At the moment, it’s one of the main things holding me back from being happy. The truth is I know that I’ll never be happy if I keep comparing. How can I be happy with what I have if I’m always focusing on what I don’t have? It can’t work, and that needs to change.
  7. I’m going to accept more compliments. Quite often, I brush off the compliments I receive. It’s not that I think people are lying to me, it’s just that I simply don’t believe those things about myself. I don’t see what they see, but I think a good way to start appreciating myself is to start accepting these compliments. Instead of saying “no way,” I’m going to just say “thank you.” I need to start believing in the words a lot more.
  8. I’ll listen to what my body and mind are trying to tell me. Too many times I’ve ignored the signs that I’m pushing myself too much or taking on too many things at once, and I need to take a step back when I see that happening. It’s okay if I need to rest. I don’t need to be productive all of the time.
  9. I’m going to say yes to things more often. As someone who suffers with severe anxiety, it can be quite tempting to stay in my comfort bubble and say no when I’m invited to do things. I can’t count the number of times I’ve turned something down just because I’m worried that I might look stupid when I try something new. I need to lose that mentality and start having a lot more faith in myself. It’s okay if there are things that I’m not able to do and it’s also okay to ask for help when I need it. Learning to love myself starts with saying yes.
Coralle is a freelance writer and blogger with a special interest in Mental Health & wellness, Women's health, and relationships.

Find her at justcoralle.com