If Your Boyfriend Hates Your Friends, This Is Probably Why, According To A Guy

If you’re lucky, your boyfriend and your friends get along famously, but that’s not always the case. Far too often, a guy and his girlfriend’s BFFs are at odds with one another. If you just don’t get why this might be the case, here are a few possible explanations for why we’re just not jiving with your friends.

  1. They’re always getting in the way of our plans. On occasion, we guys will go to considerable lengths to spend some alone time with you, only to have our plans spoiled by your friends. Sometimes they want to tag along and other times they want you to hang out with them without us men around. Either way, it’s frustrating and annoying for us.
  2. We can sense their jealousy at us occupying her time. It’s natural for people to ditch their friends just a little bit when they get into a new relationship. If your friends get a little jealous that you’re spending so much time with your new boyfriend, we can sense that resentment. We get that their lives have been disrupted a little by your new relationship, but we’re not going to apologize for it. Why is it fair for your friends to hate us just because you’d rather spend time with your new boyfriend?
  3. They’re loud and annoying. OK, so this is a little unfair because not all women are like this, but I swear every time I’ve been forced to hang out with my girlfriend’s friends, they’re as loud as a bunch of laughing hyenas. I’m sure they’re not like that all the time and that underneath it all they’re all lovely people. Still, guys don’t like having to suffer through a night of being surrounded by boisterous and rowdy women trying to have a girls’ night.
  4. The girl talk drives us nuts. Whenever we’re forced to hang around with your friends, the girl talk is non-stop. Occasionally, there will be some interesting gossip that can be fun to hear about, as much as we hate to admit it, but most of the time it’s a lot of whining about all the petty issues in their pathetic lives. We get it, they have problems, but why do we have to hear about them?
  5. They know you better than we do. One thing that guys tend to find frustrating about being around their girlfriend’s friends is that they know you better than we do. Obviously, most people have friendships that last longer than their relationships. This means that your friends have known you longer and know you better. Sometimes we feel a little jealous of that. We get a little insecure thinking that you’ll always care about your friends more than us.
  6. They might turn you against us. Since your friends have known you longer than us, they have the power to pull you away from us. We feel threatened by your friends because we’re afraid that they’ll advise you to break up with us. You might think that would encourage us to be nice to your friends and want to get along with them, but the problem with that thinking is that most guys aren’t that smart.
  7. We don’t know what you tell them about us. We know that women talk to their friends about the intimate details of their relationship but we’re not sure exactly what you tell them. Do you tell them about our fetishes, the size of our penis, all the stupid things we’ve ever said? We guys are aware that your friends know personal details about us that we’d rather them not know. This makes us feel threatened and suspicious of them, not to mention a little uncomfortable to be around them.
  8. They can be a bad influence on you. If all of your friends are single, your boyfriend is probably a little worried that they’ll pressure you to become single with them. Yes, I admit this sounds a little stupid and paranoid. However, we’ve already established that your friends have known you longer and that they can sometimes wield great influence over you. This makes us worry that they’ll subtly steer you away from us.
  9. We can sense their skepticism about us. It was hard enough winning you over, and with your friends, we feel like we have to do it all over again. A lot of times, a woman’s friends will be skeptical about a new boyfriend. I’m not saying it’s unfair—a lot of sketchy dudes have ruined it for us nice guys—but we can sense how skeptical they are of us. It feels like they’re expecting the worst out of us. It makes us feel like we have to go out of our way to convince them that we genuinely care about you. Shouldn’t the fact that you’re choosing to be with us be enough for them?
  10. We can’t be honest about not liking them. Obviously, most guys aren’t going to come out and tell you that we hate your friends. In a way, that makes us hate them even more. Having to pretend to like something is always going to make someone hate that thing even more. Since we can’t always tell you how much we hate your friends because we fear how you’ll react, we internalize our disdain for them, and our hate for them only grows.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.