There are so many reasons people settle in life—fear of being single, fear of rejection, fear of the unknown, fear of taking a chance on something that could actually change your life… the list is endless. You might not even know you’re settling—I didn’t until I woke up one morning and realized how unhappy I was with my life and the person I’d become. Thankfully, I was able to change because I saw these 11 signs before I was in too deep.
- I Never Left My Comfort Zone. I had the same routine every day. I went to the same coffee shop every day, I had the same three or four meals every single week, and I went to the same bars with my friends on the weekends. Basically, I was a serial killer’s dream target—I never strayed from my basic schedule.
- I Gave Up Way Too Easily. Instead of working hard for my dream job, I focused my energy on a less risky career that anyone could do. There were times when I’d try to put effort into the things and people I really really wanted, but the second it got hard or risky, I’d give up and forget about it altogether.
- My Friend Group Never Changed. I love my friends and I’m thankful they’ve been able to see me through almost every stage of my life. Still, having the same friends since kindergarten was a big part of why I was so sheltered. I only knew the same few people, which means I never got to explore different personalities and interact with people who had opposing beliefs and values.
- I Was Always Planning Rather Than Doing. Planning my future was my favorite hobby, but that was because I was a fan of pushing things back. I’d always say, “In a few years, I’ll…” but a few years would come and go and I’d still be exactly where I was when I made the plan.
- I Was Still Thinking About My Ex. I wasn’t actively working to get over my ex. I was waiting for him to come running back to me so that we could be together, even though I knew deep down that he wasn’t my forever person. I loved him, but there was someone better for me— and better for him. And yet, I wouldn’t let myself get over him enough to jump back in the dating pool.
- Netflix & Chill Was My Go-To. There’s nothing wrong with sitting on the couch, drinking and stuffing food into your mouth (especially if that food is pizza, which it usually was for me). Still, that isn’t what I really wanted to be doing every single Friday night—it’s just what I settled for doing.
- I lived vicariously through people with more glamorous lives. I’m not going to lie—If I wasn’t working or watching Netflix, I was on Perez Hilton or Daily Mail reading all of the celebrity gossip. Don’t get me wrong, I did and always will enjoy getting the scoop on my celebs, but I was spending so much time doing it because I was bored. Instead of doing things I wanted to be doing, I read what celebrities were doing, which bummed me out even more because obviously, I’m never going to party it up in Cannes with Kendall Jenner.
- I Was Jealous Of Everyone. I couldn’t understand how people I knew were achieving things—getting married, moving across the country for a job, buying houses, or popping out children basically every other year. I wasn’t jealous of what they had, I was jealous that they were able to make their dreams come true and that it seemed so easy for them.
- I Avoided Certain Situations. I didn’t try to put myself out there or meet new people. I stayed hidden, with the people and places I was familiar with. I turned down invitations to get drinks with coworkers and I purposely avoided any kinds of events that I knew would be filled with people. Maybe it was my anxiety at work. I just wasn’t comfortable with anything that I wasn’t already comfortable with.
- I Constantly Put Myself Down. I’d look at other people and list off the characteristics they had that I didn’t. They were confident, so why wasn’t I confident? They were smart, so why wasn’t I smart? They were in love, so why wasn’t I in love? Comparing myself to other people only made me feel worse about who I was and it only made me resent other people more.
- I Kept Blaming “Timing.” I’ve always thought timing was important and I still do, but sometimes you have to make your own timing and take chances when a door opens. That’s what I had to understand. I’d blame “timing” for why I wasn’t where I wanted to be, and “timing” was an excuse for why I wasn’t taking a chance. “Timing” can be good, but it can also be crippling because “the right time” might not ever truly come.
