Do I Really Have Terrible Luck With Men Or Is There Something Wrong With Me?

I’ve had so many bad relationships at this point that I can’t help but think it’s more than bad luck. There comes a point in your life when you have to stop and look back, take note, and ask yourself this one question—what am I doing wrong?

  1. Are all the good ones taken? That’s what I used to think but recently, I’ve started questioning this. Considering the string of losers I’ve dated, I could definitely put the blame on my city, my social circle, Tinder and whatever else. They certainly could be to blame but it could also be something more. Maybe I’ve just been making excuses for my poor choices? If that’s true then the situation won’t change until I make it change. Are the good guys really gone or am I the actual problem here?
  2. Is there even such a thing as luck? We make our own choices, don’t we? Part of being an adult is taking responsibility for your part in every relationship. I mean, sure, that whole “strangers on a train” thing does happen. People meet and fall in love in unexpected ways, so by the same token, someone could potentially have bad luck too. But so many bad breakups? Either something is seriously wrong or I was a really evil person in my past life!
  3. It always starts well but things go downhill really fast. Guys seem to be really into me when we start dating but my relationships just don’t last. Most don’t make it past the dreaded three-month mark. Basically, when it gets to the point where the relationship needs to solidify or die, it dies. So is it me going for guys who don’t want to commit or do they show up, take a look around, and realize I’m somehow undateable?
  4. I’m beginning to see a pattern. I always seem to go for the same type of guy—don’t we all? Only my type of guy seems to be the type that’s not really interested. I’ve dated enough of these now to notice things are repeating themselves. No matter where I meet these guys, the results are the same. This means the only common denominator in these relationships is, well, me! It’s hard not to start doubting yourself when every relationship ends up the same way.
  5. Is there something about me that attracts toxic dudes? What is it about me that says “casual dating only”? Am I secretly giving off the scent that I’m not serious relationship/marriage material? Is the problem that I just attract guys who don’t want to commit or is there something else? I keep going over my behavior and looking for clues as to what I might be doing wrong. It could be me, it could be them—how do I even find out?
  6. Do I smell or something? With so many guys disappearing off on me, I’m starting to think there might be something unattractive about me. Am I just not that appealing up close and personal? Do I have a significant character flaw? I’m sure I’m not the only one with imposter syndrome, but I’m pretty much living the nightmare. Every time a guy gets close to me, the relationship ends. Do I fail to meet people’s expectations once the reality of dating me sets in? Do I come on too strong and drive guys away? What is it?!
  7. Why am I attracted to guys who end up treating me like this? Maybe I should be asking myself this question too. I mean, it takes two to tango, right? Am I constantly setting myself up for failure by going for the wrong guys? Am I passing on perfectly good guys who’d actually be into me? Apart from questioning my own attractiveness, I’m seriously starting to question my choices.
  8. I think I might need therapy. If nothing else, I need to be told by someone objective that there isn’t anything terribly wrong with me. But I’m also thinking I need to get to the bottom of this thing because I’m so incredibly fed up of ending up in the same situation every single time I find someone I like.
  9. Why can’t I see the signs? One thing that’s almost certainly wrong with me is that I don’t seem to be able to tell in advance when a guy’s likely to bail. I mean, if nothing else, it’s happened so many times I should just be able to assume that’s what’s going to happen. On the other hand, you should treat every relationship as a new thing and ignore the past, right? I don’t want to become so bitter and paranoid that I treat every new guy as a potential jerk before I’ve even given him a chance to prove himself. At the very least, though, I should be able to take things slow until I know the guy’s actually here to stay.
  10. If I knew what the problem was, I could fix it. Whether it’s something I do, my attitude, or my choice of guys, I really need to solve this. It’s all too easy to blame luck for my string of failed relationship but chances are, it’s more than that. Unless I know what it is, I just know I’m going to be stuck in this limbo forever.
Writer, artist, intrepid traveler and lover of cats, cheese and techno music. Preferably not all at the same time.