Everyone likes to complain sometimes, but there’s a clear difference between an occasional venting session and constant negativity that drags everyone around you down. Maybe you even realize your tendency to put a damper on things but don’t know why you’re like this. If you’re confused about why you’re such a Debbie Downer, consider one of the following explanations for your bad attitude.
1. You’re Overwhelmed By Stress.
It’s difficult to be upbeat and positive if you feel like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. It gets to the point that you just can’t see through the dark clouds hanging over you. Once you deal with the stressful stuff in your life, you’ll be able to clear your vision and might feel a bit more positive.
2. You’re Addicted To Complaining.
You might be so used to complaining about things that it’s become second nature, something you do by default without even thinking about it. As a result, you’re quick to complain about things people say or things that aren’t as good as they could be, and it’s causing you to get stuck in a negativity rut.
3. You’re Afraid Of Change.
You might feel thrown off by people’s optimistic outlook because you don’t want to change. You’re so used to being pessimistic that it’s scary to consider taking a walk on the bright side, even though it’s sunnier and you don’t end up walking in mud. You might even look at positive people with disdain, thinking that they’re clueless and just don’t see the world for what it is. (By the way, if you struggle with this fear when it comes to your dating life, check out our sister site, Sweetn. They have game-changing tips, tricks, and tools that will totally change your love life.)
4. Â You Lack Empathy.
Underlying your negative outlook could be a lack of empathy. You struggle to understand other people’s emotions and perspectives, which can cause you to react with negativity instead of compassion. If you can’t put yourself in people’s shoes and see where they’re coming from, it’s no wonder you struggle to cut them a bit of slack. It ends up turning you into a toxic person, and you’re not deep down.
5. You’re Projecting.
If you’re quick to criticize those around you or find ways to burst their bubbles, it could be that you’re projecting your insecurities onto them. So, when you tell them they won’t succeed at their business idea, it’s really about you not feeling confident in your own career. Try to work on the things you feel uncertain about so that you don’t push those doubts onto other people.
6. You’re Struggling With Jealousy.
You could be dealing with a heavy case of envy for the person who’s celebrating their accomplishments or who has things in their life that you want, and it’s making you ridiculously negative. Comparing yourself to others is sparking that chip on your shoulder, so try to reel in the bad habit. There’s enough room for everyone to succeed!
7. You’re Lacking Self-Confidence.
If you don’t believe in your abilities and your potential, it’s no wonder you’re feeling so negative in life — and that this feeling is rubbing off on other people and putting a strain on your relationships. People might not know how to get your mood out of the gutter, and to be honest, it’s not their responsibility.
8. You’re Not Interested.
The reason for your negativity could be something as simple as you not feeling the vibe of the room. Maybe the topic just doesn’t interest you and so you find yourself tuning out or not injecting positivity into what’s being discussed. When that happens, it’s better to excuse yourself rather than bringing everyone else down.
9. You’re Going Through A Crisis.
If you’ve gone through a really tough experience lately — a sick parent, a breakup, the death of a pet, etc. — this challenging time could be affecting your mood and outlook. It’s only normal, but your upbeat vibes should return once you’ve got a handle on things and have processed your feelings. In the meantime, take space and time to deal with your grief. It’s okay if you’re not ready to be a social butterfly right now.
10. You’re Afraid To Fail.
Turning down amazing opportunities could be because you’re always afraid to mess up. You’d rather say “no” to an exciting adventure than risk falling and making a fool of yourself. Of course, this attitude is holding you back! People with amazing lives likely heard “no” quite a few times before the “yes” responses started coming their way. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, as they say.
11. You Don’t Reflect On Your Behavior.
If you’re a negative presence in your relationships but you don’t take stock of what your negativity’s about or how it’s affecting others, your bad energy will just get worse. You’re not giving yourself time to self-reflect so you can change your course. Set aside time for introspection and really delve deep into how you’re feeling and what’s behind it.
12. You’re Dealing With Anxiety.
Mental health conditions such as feeling out of control anxiety can cause you to become negative. They drain your mood while causing you to imagine the worst-case scenarios in life. You play the “what if?” game, and it never ends well. Don’t be shy about reaching out to a professional therapist or psychologist for help if you’re truly struggling.
13. You’re Feeling Depressed.
Another health condition that can cause you to feel more negative than usual is depression. You might experience ruminating over the same thoughts, which is known as repetitive thinking. It can be stressful and bring you down, zapping your energy. Again, talk to a professional — it could make all the difference.
14. You’re Stuck In The Past.
It’s difficult to feel good about the future if your head’s stuck in the past. You won’t be able to feel excited about great things that could happen to you or others if you can’t forget previous hardships and mistakes. It’s time to get out of your head! You can never go back, but if you’re constantly looking in that direction, you’ll never be able to move forward either.
15. You’re Catastrophizing.
©iStock/Viktor_Gladkov
Catastrophizing is when you think the worst thing is going to happen, no matter what situation you find yourself in. Sometimes this can be a protective measure against feeling disappointed if things don’t work out. The downside? Expressing negative outcomes that aren’t based on realistic expectations create negative thinking that’s killing the vibe.
16. You’re Suffering From Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Besides anxiety and depression, another metal health condition that can be marked by negative thinking is OCD. You might experience intrusive thoughts on a regular basis, and they’re making you depressed while getting in the way of your life and happiness.
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