Reasons Emotional Affairs Are Even Worse Than Sexual Ones

Having a one-night stand when you’re already in a relationship can be harrowing for your partner, but it’s not nearly as bad as getting emotionally tangled up with someone else. While sexual affairs can create a rift in your relationship, emotional affairs won’t only put an end to your love story but also wreck your partner’s mental health. Here’s why emotional affairs are so damaging.

1. It makes breaking up an easy option. There’s something intense about emotional affairs that makes splitting up the most favorable option. When you’re emotionally connected with someone, you begin to withdraw from your partner. Their calls no longer excite you and you’re no longer pumped to share your important moments with them. Because your emotions are raw, you’re quick to slip into comparison. You may suddenly start thinking your lover is not a great match for you as they don’t provide the vibrancy and heat the new person does. With time, you’ll learn to live without your partner. So, when they confront you about your affair, it’s easy to walk out.
2. It often leads to sexual affairs. Emotional affairs are breeding grounds for prospective sexual affairs. The more you’re growing apart from your partner emotionally, the higher the chances of slipping into bed with that other someone. In most cases, partners feel remorseful after sexual affairs, but if you feel connected on a deeper level, you may find ways to justify your actions. Emotional affairs make it easy to sleep with someone and feel no tug in your conscience as you presume you’re already in love.
3. It messes with your partner’s mental health. Your withdrawal and subsequent negligence when you start investing lots of emotions heavily into that “friend” messes with your partner’s head and may cause them to experience serious anxiety or depression. Your partner may forgive and let sexual affairs slide, but it’s difficult to forget the confusing emotions attached to emotional affairs.
4. It causes irreparable damage to your relationship. Cheating of any sort harms your relationship, but an emotional affair can leave your love life in shambles. Even though the relationship is non-sexual, it’s packed with high-level intimacy that waters down the bond you share with your partner. Even after an honest conversation, true forgiveness will take a long time and in most cases will never happen.
5. Your partner’s confidence level shrinks. The more your lover thinks about your emotional attachment with someone else, the more the feeling of worthlessness, incompetence, and doubt sets in. They suddenly feel they’re no match for your needs, knowing that someone else can easily put a smile on your face. It’s usually difficult to recover from that.
6. It makes your relationship vulnerable in the future. Even though sexual affairs can cause your relationship to become tipsy-turvy, emotional affairs are worse because it punctures holes in the seams of your relationship. Your partner may begin to become paranoid if you start chatting with a stranger or being overly nice in public. While they might not immediately think of you sleeping with them, they’re going to grow suspicious of your every move.
7. They’re easier to start than sexual affairs. I know it’s strange but that’s the truth! Emotional affairs are very easy to start. It could be a nice guy from work who’s paying you more attention and helping out with tasks or the hot next-door neighbor who’s willing to babysit your kids and walk the dog. Such ‘innocent’ conversations can simply build up to something intense and passionate.
8. It can affect the kids. With sexual affairs, it’s easy to jump into bed with someone and come home to play the good parent routine with your kids. In the case of emotional affairs, the game is different. Your relationship not only suffers, but your kids also go through hell too. Because of how passionate and intense emotional affairs are, it’s easy to be carried away and neglect your children in the process.

What to do if you’re guilty of having emotional affairs

If you ever find yourself entangled in an emotional affair, here are the steps to take.

1. Remember why you’re together with your current partner. If you see yourself blushing more at the attention you receive from someone other than your partner, you need to rethink. Decide to renew your commitment to your relationship. And rather than running from the real problems, face them squarely. Perhaps your partner has become too relaxed and laid-back in the relationship. You should bring your feelings to their attention so you can begin working together on fixing the issues between you.
2. You should set clear boundaries. Every emotional affair started from an innocent conversation. A little harmless flirt with your handsome gym trainer can get you in trouble, so set boundaries and stick to them. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t keep friends of the opposite sex, you should just know where to draw the line. The best way to handle this is by letting them know that you’re in a relationship. A lot of times, this may not stop someone interested in you from pushing further. However, continuously talking about how much you love your partner will help.
3. Be transparent with your partner. Keeping your new-found safe space to yourself will endanger your relationship in the long run. Stick to being honest with your partner. Let them know what’s happening and how you’re starting to find someone else interesting. If your partner is very understanding, both of you will work something out together. They’ll want to know what’s going on, the fact that you’re aware of it and making steps to change things, and how they might be able to help.
4. Talk to someone who understands and can help. Emotional affairs can be confusing for most people because we tend to think that if you’re not having sex with someone else, you’re doing nothing wrong. Find a support person who can listen to you without judgment and let them help you through this phase. Be honest enough to divulge the root cause as to why you’re suddenly interested in the new person. The sooner you understand it, the sooner you can get over it.