He Rejected You – Now What?

Dealing with rejection of any kind can be difficult, but there’s nothing quite like the sting of it coming from a guy you really like. Honestly, it’s usually not your fault. There’s nothing you did wrong and nothing you could have done differently, it just didn’t work out, and that’s probably a good thing. Of course, it’s easy to be logical about it in hindsight, but how do you deal with rejection when it’s just slapped you in the face? It’s tough, but definitely not impossible.

  1. Delete his number. The last thing you want to do is end up drunk texting or dialing him, asking why he doesn’t want to be together and whether he realizes just how perfect you were for each other. Yikes. Get rid of his number now – it’s not worth keeping, and neither was he, clearly, since he rejected you.
  2. Cry it out. Is there anything more cathartic than having a good old fashioned cry? There’s no shame in it, and releasing pent up tears can do wonders for your mental and emotional state. Let those ugly sobs flow – you’ll feel much better afterwards.
  3. Call your best friend. Our friends are always there for us when our romantic relationships go wrong, and now’s the time you need to call on your besties to keep you from sinking too deep into the depths of depression. Your BFF will know just how to provide the right moral support when you’re feeling down.
  4. Let yourself wallow… but only a little. Being rejected sucks, and sometimes you just have to let yourself feel bad about it. Grief is the first stage of processing a traumatic experience, so listen to the songs you both loved, sleep in his old t-shirt, do all those things self-help books would tell you not to.
  5. Get out of your own head. Once you’ve allowed yourself a little wallowing, it’s time to find something else to focus on besides him. Now could be a good time to finally start watching House of Cards or taking advantage of that gym membership you’re paying for but never use. Occupying your mind with something other than how things went wrong will speed the healing process along.
  6. Consider it a learning experience. This didn’t work out, but that doesn’t mean the next one won’t. If he didn’t want to be with you, that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you, it just means he was probably a a-hole. I mean, come on – you’re great! Find the silver lining, consider it a learning experience and be done with it.
  7. Move on. Some things in life are out of our control, and love is one of them. You’ve acknowledged your sadness, took time to figure out what went wrong and you’re ready to get back out there and try again. Who knows – Mr. Right could actually be just around the corner, and you’ll be glad the last guy is gone.
Piper Ryan is a NYC-based writer and matchmaker who works to bring millennials who are sick of dating apps and the bar scene together in an organic and efficient way. To date, she's paired up more than 120 couples, many of whom have gone on to get married. Her work has been highlighted in The New York Times, Time Out New York, The Cut, and many more.

In addition to runnnig her own business, Piper is passionate about charity work, advocating for vulnerable women and children in her local area and across the country. She is currently working on her first book, a non-fiction collection of stories focusing on female empowerment.
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