Do you want to take a break from relationships and spend time casually hooking up? There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, it might be exactly what you need right now. With that said, hookups aren’t as carefree as they seem. Things can go wrong fast, and that’s why you need to follow a few rules. Do these 10 things to make sure you’re getting the best out of your casual encounters.
Be Clear On Expectations. Before you start swapping fluids, make sure you’re both on the same page. Do you have romantic feelings towards them? Are you trying to get over your ex? Being clear and honest will save you both from potential heartbreak, but you have to actually speak up. Don’t assume they can read your mind and don’t assume you can read theirs. Whatever your expectations are, be honest so you can both walk away if need be.
Use Protection. You should always use protection when you’re hooking up, even if they say you’re the only one they’re sleeping with because that doesn’t mean you’re the only one they’re intimate with (if you catch our drift). Wrap it up. And if they “don’t like using condoms,” use them on yourself. The point is, you need to protect yourself even when you think you’re safe.
Make Sure There’s Consent. Raise your hand if you’ve ever relied on alcohol to ease your nerves. A lot of hands are raised, right? While there might not be anything wrong with throwing back a shot or two, it’s important you’re able to provide consent. Both of you should be willing, comfortable, and sober enough to know what you’re doing.
Be Respectful. When it comes to our bodies, we’re all sensitive and insecure about something, so don’t judge the size of their penis or breasts. It’s rude and hypocritical because you wouldn’t want to be judged. Being respectful is important for every relationship, even when you’re casually hooking up.
Ask About Their Sexual Health. If you’re not comfortable asking about their sexual health, you shouldn’t be sleeping with them. Honestly. You have every right to know when their last sexual partner was, and whether they’ve ever had an STD. You’re sharing your body, after all. You don’t need to know everything, but you do need to know their sexual secrets.
Take The Lead. The typical “sex rules” don’t apply in hook up culture. Anyone can make the first move, including you. That’s what’s so great! You don’t have to mask your dominant personality to spare their feelings. You can let your inner tiger out and finally take charge without worry. Are you passive? That’s fine too. Let them do all the work while you sit back and enjoy it.
Make Sure You’re Satisfied. What’s the point in hooking up if you’re not enjoying yourself? You deserve to be just as happy as they are, if not more so! Do what feels good and don’t be afraid to ask for what you want. We’re not suggesting you get aggressive (unless you’re both into that) but if you’re not satisfied, speak up. Chances are, they don’t know you’re unhappy. Tell them so they can switch it up in your favor.
Don’t Be A Spit Sister. Spit sisters are two people who hook up with the same guy. It sounds complicated, doesn’t it? That’s because it is, so do your best to avoid that situation or any similar situation. There are plenty of people out there. There’s no reason why you and your bestie need to sleep with the same person. Unless, of course, you want your friendship to end. If that’s the case, go right ahead.
Don’t Do Everything. The problem with hooking up is it’s easy to cross a line. You don’t want to treat this person like a significant other and you don’t want this situation to ruin your view on love and sex. But how do you keep yourself in check? By keeping some things sacred. Don’t kiss, avoid snuggling, keep oral sex between you and your forever partner. These are just suggestions. It’s on you to figure out what you value the most.
Leave If There’s A Problem. You don’t have to sleep with someone you don’t want to sleep with. Unlike a romantic relationship, there’s no reason to “work it out.” And you don’t need a good reason to walk away. If you’re over it, you’re over it and there’s nothing wrong with that. Don’t pressure yourself to keep sleeping with them and don’t let them pressure you.
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