He Said I Deserved Better And Then Turned Around And Became A Better Guy For Someone Else

He Said I Deserved Better And Then Turned Around And Became A Better Guy For Someone Else iStock

Things were great with my ex until they weren’t anymore, and I can honestly say that was through no fault of my own. When we were at the end of our relationship, he seemed to take responsibility for things going wrong. He told me that I deserved better than him, which was true… but then he turned right around and became that better man for another woman. WTF?

  1. I should have listened to him. When he said I deserved a better man, it made me feel like he still cared about me. Sadly, I was only hearing what I wanted to hear. I thought that he was wrong and he simply didn’t see himself the way I saw him, that he was just lacking confidence. The truth is that he could have been a better man for me—he just didn’t care enough to be. I did deserve better; I just didn’t realize that at the time because all I wanted was him.
  2. I knew he’d move on eventually, but it didn’t have to be that quickly. After all the time we spent together, he found someone new within two weeks of our breakup. While I was heartbroken, he didn’t need any time at all to mourn our relationship. He acted like he wanted to be free and single but then he turned around into another serious relationship. I thought he just wanted a break from being a boyfriend but apparently, he just wanted a permanent break from me.
  3. It was just an excuse for him to be terrible to me. He treated me like I was nothing but then said things to make me feel like he still cared. If he knew I deserved better then why didn’t he simply treat me better? It’s clear now that he thinks his new girlfriend is worthy of a better man, and all that tells me is that I wasn’t. In reality, he treated me like crap because I meant nothing to him and it took me way too long to realize that.
  4. All I wanted was for him to make an effort. The hardest part of it all was realizing that he didn’t think I was worth the effort but he thinks she is. I worked so hard to be a good girlfriend but he didn’t give me the same love in return. He stopped trying and day by day that broke my heart. No matter how much I look back at our relationship, I can’t figure out what I did wrong and I just keep wondering what she’s doing right.
  5. He didn’t love me the way that I loved him. There’s no doubting the fact that he’s more in love with her than he ever was with me. What he was really trying to tell me is that I deserved real love and he didn’t feel that way about me. I was more invested in our relationship than he ever wanted to be. His whole breakup line was just a shady way of saying that he didn’t love me anymore but the confusion and aftermath of it all left me even more broken in the end.
  6. I wish he’d told me that I wasn’t the girl he wanted. That would have saved me a lot of time. I actually tried to convince him that he was worthy of my love. I looked like a fool all because he couldn’t openly tell me that he just didn’t want to be with me anymore. He didn’t think that I deserve a better man at all. He played things off like he still cared. I realize now that he just wanted to look like the good guy, but the decent thing to do would have been to tell me in no uncertain terms that we were over and he was moving on to someone new.
  7. In the end, I was left feeling like I wasn’t enough. Despite what he said, he never tried to be better for me but for her, it’s a whole different story. Apparently, she’s worth trying for. At the end of it all, it felt like he thought he deserved a better woman than me. I just wasn’t enough for him and I couldn’t help but wonder what was wrong with me.
  8. I thought he was just scared. I thought that we were getting serious and he was afraid of the next step. I thought that the commitment made him worry and doubt himself and I believed that he’d see that we were right for each other. But he wasn’t afraid that he wasn’t good enough for a good woman. It wasn’t that he couldn’t be good enough for me, but that he didn’t want to be the man for me, and that made all the difference.
  9. He didn’t communicate any of our problems until the very end. While I was fighting to save our relationship, he was busy throwing our entire future away and I wasn’t any clue the wiser. He started to move on while we were still together. Rather than talking to me about our issues, he pretended like everything was fine until he broke my heart out of the blue. I didn’t see it coming. I didn’t know I deserved a better man. I thought he was the better man, because all that time I was fighting for us, he pretended I was “the one” too.
  10. I deserved the man he is now. He’s so different with her and it kills me to see that he had that amazing man in him all this time. He could have treated me with the love and respect that he does her, but what he really thought was that I didn’t deserve that from him. Maybe he really does think I deserve love but from someone else because he didn’t want to be Prince Charming—at least not for me.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.