If You Say You Want Love But Do These 8 Things, You Really Want To Be Alone

If You Say You Want Love But Do These 8 Things, You Really Want To Be Alone ©iStock/Susan Chiang

You might say you want to find love and be in a serious relationship, but do your actions match your words? If you find yourself doing any of these 8 things, maybe you actually want to be alone:

  1. You cancel dates. Breaking a plan is a really crappy thing to do, whether you’re cancelling on your BFF or a guy you don’t know. Why would you throw away the chance to meet someone new? You really never know. Sure, you’re tired and work sucked and you want to watch TV but you can do that tomorrow night. When you cancel dates, you’re sending the message that you want to stay single.
  2. You phone it in. Just because you have a first date lined up doesn’t mean the work is totally over. You still have to show up and make an effort to have a good time. If you don’t ask your date any questions or share anything about yourself, it’s no wonder you’re still flying solo.
  3. You whine 24/7. When you complain about your single life, you’re putting super negative energy out into the universe, and that won’t bring you anything positive in return. If you can’t stop complaining about dating then you’re not as invested in the search for love as you think. If you were, you would do your best to stay upbeat and keep trying. You would want love so badly that you would suffer through any number of dates hoping to get it.
  4. You refuse to try something new. There’s no shame in trying different ways of meeting a guy. If your friend offers to set you up and you’re never up for it then do you really want a BF? If you’re online dating but won’t use that super popular app that everyone is always talking about, what’s really holding you back?
  5. You go on a perpetual dating hiatus. Sure, dating breaks are super necessary and you can’t go on a date every day of your life — but if you say you’re in the market for love but put zero effort into dating then you probably don’t actually want what you think you do.
  6. You turn down every second date. Of course, you can’t accept every second date offer just because you were asked. But if you say no to every guy, maybe it’s you, not them. Eventually you have to take that chance if you ever want to find love.
  7. You make a million excuses. You know the ones. You’re focusing on your career. You’re exhausted. You’re moving apartments. You’re grocery shopping. Okay, maybe not that last one, but there’s always going to be a reason why now is not the best time to date. If you really want love bad enough, you’ll ignore all the crappy conditions and keep trying.
  8. You create drama. You probably have no idea you’re actually doing this, but if you work yourself up into a frenzy before every first date, you’re creating unnecessary drama. You may think it’s normal to worry if the date is going to be bad or if you’re going to like the guy more than he likes you. But if you make it impossible to enjoy any first date, you’re not giving the guy a real shot. And you’re definitely not giving yourself a fighting chance to find real love.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.