Is unemployment a deal-breaker? While some would consider a person not having a job as a red flag, it doesn’t always mean that you shouldn’t date them. After all, there are endless reasons why someone might be looking for work, from a bad economy to illness to secret millionaire status. The question of whether or not to date an unemployed guy should come down to the individual guy and what his situation is. Here are a few pros and cons of being with an unemployed person to make the decision a little easier!
Pro: He’ll have more time for you.
In most cases, someone without a job will have more time to spend on you and your relationship. Unless he doesn’t have a job because he’s got major commitments, such as serving as a full-time carer, he should have more time to put towards dating you. It’s always a good thing to have someone who is available, not just emotionally but also physically!
Con: He won’t have an income.
Here’s the elephant in the room. If a guy doesn’t have a job it’s likely that he also doesn’t have an income. Assuming he’s not just unemployed because he can afford to be, he’s not going to have as much (if anything) coming in. While a person’s worth isn’t directly related to how much money they have or make at all, it is a factor to consider. Life costs money. And dating definitely costs money! Although there are ways of dating when you’re broke, typical activities like going out for dinner, going away together, and Valentine’s gifts will all set you back.
Pro: He won’t have an obsession with his work.
If you’ve ever dated a workaholic, you’ll know this to be true! If someone has no job, then they can’t have an obsession with their work. That can put a whole lot of stress onto a relationship so it’s definitely a good thing to take that potential issue out of the equation. You won’t have the problem of him having to work weekends or stay up all night chained to his laptop.
Con: He might be lazy.
To be clear, let’s not automatically assume that unemployment makes someone lazy. Especially in the current competitive and brutal world, absolutely anyone can end up without work. Even the hardest working people can get down on their luck. Laziness is still a possibility, though. Just as there are people who genuinely can’t work for whatever reason, there are also those who don’t want to because they can’t be bothered. You’ll get a good idea of where your guy stands soon enough. Laziness might not be a deal-breaker for everyone, but most people won’t want to get too serious with someone who can’t be bothered working.
Pro: He’s not likely to have an addition to wealth.
Again, this is another generalization. After all, a guy can have a money addiction and not have to work. Maybe he owns five investment properties or inherited a fortune from his parents! Assuming that doesn’t apply to him, it’s also possible that a guy who has no drive to work isn’t overly obsessed with money. And that can be a breath of fresh air. While you need money to live, an obsession with wealth can turn someone into super unpleasant company.
Con: He might be entitled.
In some cases, unemployment comes from a sense of entitlement. That is, he’ll expect you to support him. In the dating phase, this will just look like you paying for every date. But if things progress into a full-blown relationship, you could end up funding his entire life, almost like a sugar mama situation. Each relationship is different and different roles may or may not work. It’s one thing to be the breadwinner while someone else contributes in another way. But it’s another thing to be used by someone who expects to be supported.
Pro: He’ll have more time to work on other goals.
The downside of working is that it takes up time that could go towards other valuable things. For example, if someone dreams of being an artist, a day job might pay the bills but it slows the process of them working on their art. If he has dreams that he works towards every day, then his not having to work might actually be a good thing! He might be getting closer to achieving his goals.
Con: You won’t have work in common to talk about.
Work can be stressful, but at least most people can relate to the stress. Talking about work is one of the most common topics to discuss on a date. And when you get into a relationship, it’s nice to be able to come home and vent your stress with a partner who gets it. If he doesn’t work, he might not want to talk about your job. Or he might not understand the pressure it puts you under.
Pro: He won’t have to deal with work stress.
The upside to this, though, is that he won’t have to deal with work stress. Stress from work can lead people to act in unhealthy ways which then put a strain on a relationship. Someone who’s always under the pump at work is likely to be moody and even short-tempered. Without that stress, he’ll probably be an overall happier person than an overworked grouch.
Con: He will have to deal with unemployment stress.
Work can be stressful, but so can unemployment. Particularly for people who are looking for a job, it’s challenging to have to go to endless interviews. That’s especially true if rejections keep flooding in. Many people who don’t have a job might also worry about their safety, security, and wellbeing in the long term. So work might not be stressing him out, but that stress can still come in from other sources.
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