When you end a relationship, it’s natural to feel depressed, anxious, and a bit heartbroken. However, as more time passes and you get a bit of space from your previous partner, you start to realize that life’s pretty good without them in it. Sadly, they may not be having the same experience. In fact, if you notice any of these signs, your ex is clearly miserable without you — sucks to be them!
1. They still like all of your social media posts even though you unfollowed them ages ago.
When you end a relationship with someone, you have no problem cutting the cord entirely. You don’t want to leave the door half-open or hold back your healing. No matter how painful it is, you know a clean break is necessary, as is going no contact. That means deleting them from social media so you can’t obsess over what they’re up to 24/7. Unfortunately for them, it seems like they haven’t got the memo and instead, they double-tap all your selfies and respond to your Stories like it’s their job.
2. They still text you when they’re drunk.
This is one of the most obvious signs your ex is miserable without you. They drink because they’re depressed about your breakup and the text you when they’re wasted because their self-control has gone straight out the window. They probably aren’t even saying anything of note — you might wake up the next morning to a “hey, u ok?” message or maybe just a “whatsup?” (that you’re smart enough not to answer). Someone needs to take their phone off them when they’re drinking next time.
3. They get jealous when you start dating again.
It’s natural to feel a bit wistful when your ex moves on with someone new — it’s sort of the final nail of the coffin that squashes any small amount of hope you had for a reunion right out. However, jealousy is a whole other emotion, and it’s one that only tends to creep up when there are lingering feelings, even if those feelings are loneliness that you weren’t the one to move on first. Your ex is clearly miserable if the green-eyed monster rears its head the minute you even think of meeting someone new.
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5. They won’t stop posting sad quotes/song lyrics on social media.
Oh GOD, this is so embarrassing (for them). First of all, it reeks of 2001 AOL Instant Messenger away message. Second, they’re a grown adult acting like an overly dramatic pre-teen publicly, obviously because they’re trying to court sympathy (or attention from you). Obviously, you don’t wish pain or suffering on anyone, no matter how bad of a partner they were to you. However, they need to do that offline, in private. Yikes.
6. They refuse to give your stuff back.
If they were truly mature and could accept that the relationship was over, they wouldn’t act like a petulant child and hold your stuff hostage as a way of keeping you attached to them. Your ex is clearly so miserable without you that they feel the need to surround themselves with your belongings as a way to still feel close to you. They need to grow up and learn to respect you (and themselves) a bit more.
7. They talk trash about the new person in your life.
Not only are they jealous of anyone you so much has smile at, but when you do get into a new steady relationship, your ex has way too much to say about it, and none of it is pleasant. They claim your new partner is a loser, a cheater, a liar, not worthy of you, not as good as them, ugly, broke… the list goes on and on. Why do they care so much? You have to wonder, and the answer is pretty clear: your ex is miserable not just without you, but in general.
8. They just can’t seem to move on no matter how much time has passed.
You could have broken up a year ago and they’re still moping about as if things just ended last week. They’re hanging onto what used to be and it’s keeping them stuck. They just can’t seem to move on because they’re sure you’re the one that got away. Even if you’ve made it clear that you’ve truly closed the book on the two of you, they refuse to accept it. What a shame (for them).
9. They keep trying to strike up a “friendship” with you.
Maybe you’re someone who finds that you can never be friends with an ex. There’s too much history there and too much weirdness, so as sad as it is, you’re ready to let go of them completely. However, your miserable ex just doesn’t get that. They still insist that you can be pals and it’d be super easy and fun. They don’t seem to get what a terrible idea this would be. Stay strong — it’s for the best that you stay as far away from each other as possible.
10. They’re suddenly the perfect partner even though they sucked when you were together.
Joni Mitchell sang it decades ago: “Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone?” They were basically the worst partner ever when you were actually together — this is what precipitated the breakup, no doubt — but now that you’ve kicked them to the curb, they’re attentive, caring, kind, loving, the list goes on and on. Your ex is so miserable without you because they realize how royally they messed up. Too little, too late.
11. They’ve become a hermit.
They used to have hobbies that got them out of the house sometimes, but these days, you hear from mutuals that they literally never go out. Instead, they go to work and come right home, sitting in their dark apartment moping about how much their life sucks now. Of course, if they’re really struggling, they probably need to talk to a therapist. Going into hiding post-split is normal for maybe a couple of weeks, but eventually, you have to get back out there.
12. They want to reminisce about the good times constantly.
Sure, you did have some fun with them sometimes, but the bad times far outweighed the good, hence the reason you’re no longer together. However, they seem intent on trying to paint your relationship as some romantic utopia full of joy, laughter, and love. In fact, it was pretty much the polar opposite most of the time, and their delulu rewriting bears no semblance to reality.
13. Your ex tells you outright that they’re miserable without you.
It doesn’t get much more obvious than this. And while you don’t want to see someone you once cared about struggling, it’s not your responsibility to assuage their sadness, guilt, or anything else. You’ve moved on — it’s probably best if they do the same.
