There’s a category of women who say they’re “waiting.” That means they’re waiting for the day when their boyfriends pop the question. Some of these women imagine the perfect moment for years before realizing this guy has no interest in taking that next step forward. Will he propose? Here are things to look for so that you’re not wasting your time if marriage is your end-goal.
He’s not anxious to make a timeline.
You deserve to be on the same page with your partner when it comes to expectations. Remember, this is the guy you’re imagining the rest of your life with. If you can’t sit down and talk about when marriage and kids may be a possibility, he’s not really excited by the idea of settling down.
When you show him a ring you like, he changes the subject.
The ring is a gift from him to you, but it’s nice if he knows your preferences. After all, you’re expected to wear it for the rest of your life. If he tenses up when you show him rings or brushes you off completely, it’s literally the last topic on his mind.
If he says he’s not a commitment sort of guy, believe him.
As much as you want to change him, you can’t. And you shouldn’t. You might be the best girlfriend in the whole world, but if he’s openly against marriage, you won’t change his mind. Even if he manages to elope just for you, he’ll make a lousy husband since it’s a job title he never wanted. Respect his views, and the two of you will both be a lot happier.
If he’s past the timeline, it’s off his radar completely.
Say you made a timeline years ago — he said he’d propose by the end of 2018. Well, now it’s the new year and you’re still waiting for the day. Guys who want to get married want to make this moment special for you and want to show you they’re dependable. If he forgot about the date that he set himself, just cut him loose. Otherwise, you’ll be waiting for at least another full year.
He hasn’t mentioned the topic and you’ve been together for more than five years.
Some couples never get married, and that’s just fine. Each situation is different. But if he’s never even brought up the topic with you and you’re past the half-decade mark, don’t expect him to suddenly pull off a big surprise.
He keeps telling you that “the more you ask, the more I don’t want to propose.”
This is a huge excuse. He’s trying to put the blame onto you as to why he hasn’t asked you yet. The truth is, he has no intention of doing it and hopes you’ll just forget about it completely.
He’s against women asking men.
Even though it’s traditionally the man who asks the woman, times are changing and your guy is not here for it, simply because he knows the power can also be in your hand. If you ask him and he says no, he knows the relationship as it is today will be ruined.
He’s told you he’s “still thinking of a good idea,” but he’s used that line for about two years.
Yes, a proposal should be special, but at the end of the day, it’s just asking whether or not there’s a permanent future ahead. You don’t need a photographer, or a big party, or even a forever-ring if it’s something he’s still saving up for. If he keeps stalling since he thinks his proposal isn’t good enough, he’s not seeing the big picture and wasting your time.
When a family member asks him about it, he gets mad.
His family probably wants him to settle down, and if he’s been with you for some time, they’d likely be psyched about a commitment. But if they ask him and his response is anger, that means he’s upset they brought it up. Eventually, they’ll learn not to talk about it anymore, and the entire idea of marriage will fade away.
Dates aren’t as common.
If the two of you have been together for a while, he’ll know you’ll have expectations if he suddenly plans a fancy dinner out. So, he may stop that entirely. If you notice more Whopper Jrs for dinner, he’s toning down dates so that you don’t call him out on his lack of proposal. Pretty soon, he’s hoping this will become the norm. If you do go out somewhere nice, he may stress beforehand that this is “just a dinner for your birthday” to try and make sure you know to expect nothing else.
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