13 Signs He’s Too Self-Absorbed To Be A Good Boyfriend

When you’re in a relationship, you want it to be with someone who’s caring, giving, and willing to compromise. Without those traits, you’ll never last. In order to avoid wasting your time, keep an eye out for these signs that the guy you’re seeing is way too self-absorbed to ever be a good boyfriend to you or anyone else.

  1. He flips the conversation. When you’re busy talking about something you’re interested in, he always finds a way to flip it around so that he can talk about something else that pertains to his own life and interest instead. He just wants to talk about his fave subject all the time — himself.
  2. He interrupts you. Ah, the classic conversation hijacker. He cuts in when you’re trying to tell him a story because he has something super-important to tell you. It’s clear he just loves the sound of his own voice. If this happens all the time, it’s clear you have a self-absorbed guy on your hands.
  3. He lectures you. A guy who thinks he knows best and explains things to you without first asking if you know about them is usually self-absorbed. He wants to dominate conversations and he loves the feeling of power he gets when he can explain to you how to do things. Ugh.
  4. He puts others down. While a guy who does this is a jerk, he could also be self-absorbed. He might be putting others down to try to bolster himself. It’s his way of making himself seem better than those around him. How insecure can you get?
  5. He can’t spell compromise. He doesn’t want to meet your folks or go watch live sports because he’s not into that, and it’s all about what he wants. He’d rather spend time doing his own thing instead of making an effort to be with you. Heaven forbid you can’t meet him halfway just one time. All hell will break loose.
  6. He’s the life of the party. He’s the charming guy who loves being social and will make everyone at a party feel like a million bucks. Everyone thinks he’s the most amazing guy, but…
  7. He’s got a hidden agenda. While he plays the part of the best guy to know, deep down he’s actually got a hidden agenda. He wants to be loved and he craves attention. In fact, he’s mad for it. Really, when he’s helping others or boosting their egos, he’s only doing this so they’ll bring the attention back to him in the form of loving him. Sneaky.
  8. He competes with your bad days. When you’re having a rough day and open up to him about how bad it is, he gives you zero empathy. He’s all about telling you how bad HIS day has been. It’s like a competition and he wants to get all the sympathy he can. Ugh.
  9. He zones out. The guy who doesn’t really listen to you might be bad at paying attention because he can’t seem to focus on anything other than his reflection in a mirror, his phone, his own thoughts, and so on. It’s always about him!
  10. He’s always late. If you usually find that you’re left waiting for him to show up, like to a date, this is a classic sign of someone who’s self-absorbed. He’s so busy focusing on his own stuff and schedule that he doesn’t even dare to think that he’s being rude or inconveniencing other people. That doesn’t even factor into this thinking!
  11. He doesn’t give you enough. Do you always feel like your needs aren’t being met in the relationship? If he’s self-absorbed, it could be that he’s so focused on giving himself love and attention that he doesn’t want to send any your way. Not cool, especially if you’re always so giving. Chances are he’s lapping that up but still not budging. Ugh, how selfish.
  12. He bolsters his good deeds. When the self-absorbed guy does do something nice, like bring you your favorite flowers or clean the house, he’s going to make a big song and dance about it. It’s all about highlighting how great he is.
  13. He’s a walking advertisement…for himself. Linked to the previous point is how the self-absorbed guy will always be keen to talk about how great he is. He might do this in subtle ways, though, like by mentioning how he helped his friend recently or how he was such a stand-up boyfriend to his ex (who never appreciated him). Basically, he’ll find any and every excuse to mention how amazing he is.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.