Signs Someone Doesn’t Like You Very Much (And What To Do About It)

Let’s be real, deciphering whether someone likes you or not can be a tricky business. Sometimes, the signs are crystal clear, but other times, they’re as subtle as a whisper in a crowded room. If you’ve been wondering whether someone might not be as fond of you as you’d hope, you’re not alone. In this no-nonsense guide, we’ll explore some telltale signs that might indicate someone isn’t too keen on you, and more importantly, we’ll provide practical advice on what to do about it. Whether it’s a potential romantic interest, a friend, or a colleague, understanding these signs can help you navigate these situations with confidence.

1. They keep conversations short and not-so-sweet.

If someone consistently keeps conversations with you brief and lacks warmth, it’s a pretty clear sign they’re not too keen on chatting. Maybe they reply with one-word answers or don’t engage much. This can be tough to accept, but it’s important to recognize when you’re not getting the same energy back. What to do? Don’t push too hard. Respect their space and invest your energy in people who are excited to talk to you. Sometimes, stepping back is the best move.

2. Plans with them always fall through.

It’s disheartening when plans with someone consistently don’t work out. If they’re always canceling or postponing without a good reason, it might mean they’re not as interested in spending time with you. While life does get in the way sometimes, a pattern of flakiness is a red flag. The best course of action here is to stop being the planner. Let them take the initiative to propose plans. If they don’t, it might be time to accept that they’re not as invested in the relationship as you are.

3. You’re always the one to initiate contact.

Relationships are a two-way street. If you find you’re always the one initiating contact, it’s a sign they might not be that into maintaining the connection. It’s draining and can make you feel unappreciated. What to do? Pull back on reaching out. See if they notice and take the initiative themselves. If not, it’s a strong indicator of where their priorities lie, and it might be healthier for you to focus your attention elsewhere.

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5. They put minimal effort into the relationship.

When someone’s effort in a relationship is minimal – maybe they don’t remember important things about you or they don’t seem to care about your well-being – it’s a sign of disinterest. It’s tough, but important to see these signs for what they are. In response, evaluate how much effort you want to continue putting into this relationship. It might be more fulfilling to invest in relationships where the effort is mutual. Remember, you deserve to be with people who value and respect you as much as you do them.

6. They dodge one-on-one conversations with you.

If someone consistently avoids having one-on-one conversations with you, it’s a sign they might not feel comfortable or interested in engaging deeply. Maybe they always make sure there are others around, or they find an excuse to leave when it’s just the two of you. It’s hard, but respect their boundaries. Try not to corner them into conversations. Instead, focus on interactions with people who are more open to one-on-one discussions. It’s about valuing your time and emotional energy.

7. When you enter a room, they stop talking.

Walking into a room and having everyone go quiet can be unsettling. If it happens regularly with a specific person or group when you arrive, it’s a sign you’re the topic of conversation – and not in a good way. Rather than confronting them in a heated way, try addressing it calmly. You could say something like, “I noticed things got quiet when I walked in. Is there something I should know?” This direct approach can either clear the air or give you better insight into the dynamics at play.

8. They never have anything positive to say to you.

Consistent negativity from someone, whether it’s criticisms, sarcastic remarks, or dismissive comments, is a clear sign of disdain. Continually facing negativity can be draining. If addressing their behavior doesn’t change anything, it might be healthier to limit your interactions with them. Surround yourself with people who uplift you, not those who bring you down.

9. They seem distracted when you’re together.

If they’re always checking their phone, looking around, or seem mentally checked out when you’re together, it’s a sign that they’re not really invested in spending time with you. It’s not just rude; it shows a lack of interest. In this case, it’s okay to call them out gently, like, “I feel like you’re somewhere else right now. Is everything okay?” If this behavior persists, consider spending your time with people who are more present and engaged in your company.

10. They avoid making eye contact or always have their arms crossed during your conversations.

Body language like avoiding eye contact or crossed arms can be a non-verbal sign of discomfort or disinterest. If someone’s doing this consistently in your interactions, it might mean they don’t really want to engage with you. You could try to lighten the mood or ask if something’s bothering them. But if this body language persists, it might be a cue to back off and focus on people who are more open and comfortable around you.

11. They avoid committing to future plans.

If they’re always vague about making plans or non-committal about future hangouts, take it as a sign. They might say things like, “Maybe” or “I’ll let you know,” but never give a solid answer. It’s their way of keeping you at arm’s length. In response, stop being the one always initiating plans. It’s important to spend your time and energy on people who are just as enthusiastic about seeing you as you are about them.

12. They’re not interested in your life.

Someone who likes you will show interest in your life. If they never ask about your day, your experiences, or your feelings, it’s a strong indicator they’re not that into the relationship. You don’t have to confront them about it, but you can shift your focus and emotional investment to relationships where there’s mutual interest and care.

13. They rarely give compliments, laugh at your jokes, or seem to enjoy being around you.

These are subtle signs, but when someone likes you, they’ll typically laugh at your jokes, offer compliments, or generally show that they enjoy your company. A lack of these positive reactions can be a sign of disinterest. If you feel like you’re constantly trying to win their approval or make them laugh without much success, it might be time to step back. Focus on relationships where your efforts are reciprocated and you feel valued and appreciated.

Harper Stanley graduated from Eugene Lang College at The New School in NYC in 2006 with a degree in Media Studies and Literature and Critical Analysis. After graduating, she worked as an editorial assistant at The Atlantic before moving to the UK to work for the London Review of Books.

When she's not waxing poetic about literature, she's writing articles about dating, relationships, and other women's lifestyle topics to help make their lives better. While shocking, she really has somehow managed to avoid joining any social media apps — a fact she's slightly smug about.
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