For the past couple of months, I seem to be in a twilight zone in which pretty much every guy I set up a date with inevitably ends up canceling on me right before we meet up. What’s worse is that they all make the same weak, lame excuses when they do it. Here are a few I’ve heard recently—I swear if I hear them one more time, I’m going to lose my mind.
“I have to babysit.” No, he really doesn’t. What guy in their late 20s has to babysit (or even calls it “babysitting” to begin with?) Unless he’s a legit babysitter (like, that’s his job) or he has a child from a previous relationship, he doesn’t have to babysit. Even if he does, odds are, he’d know he had the commitment way in advance—not 20 minutes before your date. Okuurrr.
“It’s raining/looks like it’s going to rain.” Um, OK? It very well could be raining, but since when has rain gotten in the way of a good time? If it’s a low key hurricane, then yeah, maybe stay inside. If that’s not the case, there’s no reason to completely cancel plans altogether. The plans could easily be moved indoors if he really wanted to see me. It’s not like we were going on an all-day hike.
“Work was really exhausting today.” Work is exhausting for everyone! Life is exhausting for everyone! Using work as an excuse is BS because if someone really wanted to see you, they would—regardless of whether or not their boss gave them a stern talking to or they had to actually do work instead of spending half the day on Instagram.
“I have to be up early tomorrow.” Same as above. If a guy wanted to see me, he would see me. He has to be up in the morning? Last I checked, we all do. No one’s trying to stay up until midnight or anything crazy. He can leave early, can’t he?
“I just ate so much food, I seriously can’t move.” SHUT UP. What kind of excuse is that? Poop it out and keep it moving, guy. Also, if we’re going to meet up for drinks/food, why on earth would he be eating a five-course meal just before? I just don’t get it.
“I forgot I’m supposed to meet up with some friends.” This one is honestly just so rude. Either he’s lying and just doesn’t want to see me or he legit has plans to meet up with his friends, which means he’s openly bailing on me for other people. RUDE. C’mon, he could at least make something better up.
“I have to work late.” A guy used this excuse on me the other day. It was 8 p.m. on a Thursday night and he said he had to take a few work calls. I’m not saying he was lying… but he definitely wasn’t telling the truth. He didn’t have to work—he had to sit and watch Netflix. Learn from my mistakes, friends. If he’s a surgeon, give him a pass; if he’s a 9-5 fella, kick him to the curb for his mediocre storytelling.
“I can’t find my keys.” So, is he just never going to leave his house again then? I mean, presumably, he needs to know where his keys are if he’s going to get work or pick up bread at the store or, you know, live his life? This is a bunch of BS.
“My parents want to do dinner.” This excuse is clever and only a guy who’s pretty dang smart (AKA manipulative) is going to use this one. Not only does he know how much you’d probably like the fact that he’s spending quality time with his parents (even though he’s not), he also knows you’d feel “crazy” for getting mad at him for being with his family. It’s a win-win (for him).
“My phone died.” I don’t really get this one because if you have plans with someone, how does a dead phone mess with said plans? His phone was dead so he couldn’t, what? Take a shower? Drive to your place? Or, more importantly, plug in his phone so it could charge?!
“I’m feeling really sick.” OK, so this excuse has potential to be legit. However, if a guy has used this excuse more than once or he used this excuse and according to his social media, he was at the movies or dinner or at the gym, he’s full of feces.
“My buddy really needs me tonight.” Why? Did his family get murdered? No? Boy, bye! I know friends should come first, but not when we already have a date planned! He can’t cancel a date just because his buddy had a tough day. He could see his friend prior to us hanging out or even after. All I’m saying is, it sounds like he just wants to get drunk with his boys.
“My dog is sick.” If he gives you this excuse, immediately follow up with “Oh no, what are you going to do?” If he says he’s going to run him to the doggy emergency, I’ll let it go. If he says something like, “Just watch him for a little,” he’s lying because if he’s just going to sit at home with the dog he could easily invite me over to his place so you can both watch the precious pup. (And, does he even have a dog?)
“Sorry, I fell asleep.” We had plans for later on at night but when I texted him to confirm, he didn’t respond until five hours later saying, “Sorry, I fell asleep.” Uh… wow. He’s a dirty liar. Never trust a dirty liar.
“I’m just not feeling it tonight.” This excuse is easily the most messed up. Why? Because it’s just too true. He’s not feeling it tonight and he’s cocky enough to tell me that. Obviously, he thinks very highly of himself and he’s confident that I’m way too interested in him to ghost. Sorry, but I’ll have to show him how wrong he is.
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