13 Signs You Might Be The One Creating Unnecessary Drama In Your Family

13 Signs You Might Be The One Creating Unnecessary Drama In Your Family iStock

1.  You feel misunderstood a lot of the time.

mom and daughter at odds

Sometimes, you may feel like your family isn’t getting your point of view, which can lead to drama. Remember, it’s okay to feel misunderstood, but try to communicate your thoughts more clearly and openly. Letting them know where you’re coming from can go a long way in helping you feel heard and helping them get on your level.

2. You tend to operate in defense mode.

daughter with arms crossed with parents

If you find yourself constantly defending your actions or words, it might mean that you’re feeling attacked. Understanding that your family members are not your enemy can help reduce this defensiveness. They love you and want what’s best for you, so giving them the benefit of the doubt should be the default position.

3. You’re usually the common denominator whenever there’s tension.

mom with two adult sons

If a majority of the conflicts within your family seem to involve you, it could be a sign that you’re unintentionally causing some drama. Try to remember that everyone in your family is rooting for you. They don’t want to be fighting with you all the time — they’re on our side.

4. You often feel overwhelmed and alone.

woman being comforted by her mother

If you often feel like you’re against the world, it might be a sign that you’re taking on too much, which can lead to unnecesaary drama in the family. It’s important to remember that it’s okay to ask for help. Your family loves you and will be more than happy to unburden you — they just need to know what you need.

5. You tend to hold grudges.

angry adult woman with her mom standing over her

Holding onto past conflicts can unconsciously cause you to stir up new drama. Try to let go of these grudges and understand that everyone makes mistakes. Unless you know that your family member has intentionally done something to hurt you and has a history of this kind of behavior, try to extend a little grace and forgiveness.

6. Your mood can change really quickly.

dad and son talking on the couch

If you find that your emotions are often high, try to find ways to stabilize them. Strong emotions can not only cause you do things that are out of character, but they can skew your perception of situations and lead to escalating situations that are really no big deal. Try to find a bit of calm and balance.

7. You feel extremely isolated a lot of the time.

woman talking to her mom in kitchen

Sometimes, feeling like you’re the black sheep of the family can make you act out and cause unintentional drama. Remember, your family loves you for who you are, not what you do. They don’t want you to feel alone or like you have no support. You just have to reach out and take their hand.

8. You’re often quick to react.

grandmother comforting granddaughter

If you find yourself reacting impulsively to situations without fully understanding the context, you may be creating conflict where there really shouldn’t be any. Try slowing down, taking a breath, and fully understanding a situation before responding. If emotions are high, wait until they cool down a bit before discussing a particular issue.

9. You sometimes struggle when it comes to listening.

guy at dinner table with family

Active and empathetic listening is key to maintaining peace and understanding in relationships, especially among family members. If you find it hard to listen to people’s perspectives without interrupting or making your points, this could cause friction. Hear them out and offer the same willingness to listen that you’d expect in return.

10. You can get stuck in a victim mentality.

sisters comforting one another

If you often feel like things are happening to you rather than because of you, you might be stuck in a victim mentality. This can make ou defensive and accusatory, which will obviously lead to fights and misunderstandings. Remember, your family wants to support you, not bring you down.

11. You’re sometimes resistant to change.

mom and aunt trying to talk to daughter

If you tend to resist changes within the family dynamics or routines, there’s going to be drama in the end. Learning to grow and evolve and being willing to change your role within the family will smooth out any friction that arises. It’ll also help you feel a bit more understood and appreciated.

12. You might find it tough to apologize even if you know you’re wrong.

parents comforting daughter on couch

If you find it hard to say you’re sorry when you’ve made a mistake, this will likely be a source of drama at some point. Remember, apologizing doesn’t mean you’re weak — it shows that you value your relationships more than your ego. That kind of humility will bring you closer than ever before with our family.

13. You may compare yourself to other members of your family.

mom and dad talking to daughter on the couch

If you often compare yourself to other family members, it can end up making you (or them) feel inadequate and can stir up drama. Remember, everyone has their own path and pace in life. Every member of our family is valued, important, and special in their own unique way. The more you realize that, the more you understand that there’s no need for comparisons at all. You’re you, and for them, that’s more than enough.

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Josh grew up in Connecticut and thought he could never be happier away from big bodies of water until he moved to Minneapolis and fell in love with it. He writes full-time, with his lifestyle content being published in the likes of Men's Health, Business Insider, and many more. When he's not writing, he likes running (but not enough to train for a marathon even though his buddy won't stop asking him).
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