If You Recognize These Signs, You’re The Black Sheep Of The Family

If You Recognize These Signs, You’re The Black Sheep Of The Family

Instead of being the special snowflake of the family growing up, you were more like the black sheep. You were a bit different from everyone else, and no matter how hard you tried to fit in. That’s not a bad thing — it’s just your reality. Here are the signs this is you, for better or worse.

1. You’re always the odd one out at family gatherings.

You’re at your family reunion or Christmas party and everyone’s chatting about stuff you can’t relate to. You’re into indie music, while they’re debating the latest pop hits. Or you’re vegan, and they’re all about that barbecue life. It’s not just about different tastes; it feels like you’re from a different planet sometimes. You’re the one who always has weird stories to share, and their reactions are always a mix of baffled looks and awkward laughs. Yep, that’s the black sheep life – standing out without even trying.

2. Your life choices are a hot topic.

You’re the talk of the town in your family. Whether it’s your less-than-traditional job, your off-the-wall personal style, or the fact that you’re gay, everyone has something to say about it. You’re the topic at family dinners, and not always in the “wow, we’re so proud” kind of way. It’s more like whispers and side glances, which is really annoying.

3. You’re the rebel of the family.

In your family’s eyes, you’re the rebel. The one who challenges the status quo, asks inappropriate questions, and doesn’t just go with the flow. You’re not rebelling for the sake of it; you’ve got your reasons and causes that you’re passionate about. This can make family gatherings a bit tense, especially when you’re not afraid to speak your mind. That’s just who you are, however, and you won’t apologize for it.

4. Their advice is just thinly veiled criticism.

Every time you share something about your life, it’s met with a barrage of “advice” that feels more like criticism. “Why don’t you get a real job?” “When will you settle down?” “That’s not how we did things in our day.” Sound familiar? It’s like your choices are a personal affront to the family’s way of life. You appreciate their concern (sort of), but it’s exhausting having to defend your life decisions all the time.

5. You’re the go-to scapegoat.

Whenever something goes wrong in the family, guess who’s likely to get the blame? Yep, you guessed it – the black sheep. It could be something as small as a misplaced remote or as big as a family feud. Somehow, you’re always in the crosshairs. It’s not a fun role, and it’s definitely not fair, but it’s like you’re the default for family blame games. Remember, it’s not about you; it’s just how the dynamics have shaped up.

6. They downplay your achievements.

Involved couple watching movie at evening living room. Family spending weekend

You could literally win a Nobel Prize, and your family would be like, “Cool, but when are you getting married?” Your achievements, no matter how big, often get downplayed or overlooked. It’s as if they’re on a different wavelength and just don’t think your successes are all that big of a deal. It’s disheartening, but that doesn’t make those achievements any less worth celebrating.

7. You’re the big family mystery.

To your relatives, you’re something of an enigma. They can’t quite figure you out. You have hobbies and interests that seem strange to them. “You do what in your free time?” they ask you a lot. You’ve tried explaining your passions to them, but you might as well be speaking in Japanese for all the understanding you get in return. Just because they don’t get you doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong, however — keep that in mind.

8. You often end up solo at family events.

Hopeless young man sitting alone and thinking about problems, covering his mouth.

At family events, finding someone to vibe with is nearly impossible, especially when your artsy cousin doesn’t show up. You often end up sitting by yourself, munching on snacks in a corner. It’s not that you’re anti-social; it’s just hard to find common ground with family members who don’t share your interests. It’s one of the sad realities of being the black sheep of the family.

9. Your independence is like your shield.

smiling woman with arms crossed on rooftop

You’ve become incredibly independent, partly out of necessity. From a young age, you learned to march to the beat of your own drum because fitting in wasn’t really an option, for whatever reason. As a result, you see your independence as a bit of a badge of honor these days. It’s made you resilient and self-reliant. Sure, it would be nice to have more family support, but you’ve got this. You know how to handle life on your terms, and that’s a powerful thing.

10. Your family members are always whispering about you.

Ever walked into a room and felt the conversation shift or stop completely? That’s basically a regular experience for the family black sheep. You can almost feel the whispers and sidelong glances. It’s like you’re the main character in a family drama that you never auditioned for. You have no idea what they’re saying, but from past experience, you’re pretty sure it’s nothing good.

11. Your bond with your family is… complicated, to say the least.

You love them, obviously, but it’s not the typical storybook family dynamic. There’s a mix of love, frustration, misunderstanding, and sometimes, a bit of distance. It’s a roller coaster of emotions, but you’re used to it at this point and love it in its own unique way (or at least tolerate it). This complex relationship requires a bit of nuance and a lot of patience, but you do your best.

12. They often misunderstand your sense of humor.

You’ve got a sense of humor that somehow always misses the mark with your family. Your jokes either fly over their heads or land with a thud. It’s not that you’re not funny; it’s just that your humor isn’t something they get — maybe it’s dry or sarcastic but they prefer corny, obvious stuff. Either way, you’re the one chuckling at your own jokes while they’re scratching their heads. Hey, at least you’re entertaining yourself.

13. Traditional milestones fill you with dread rather than excitement.

While your cousins are geeking out over weddings or house hunting, you’re in a different headspace. Traditional milestones like marriage, buying a house, or climbing the corporate ladder don’t really light your fire. You’re more interested in personal growth, eye-opening experiences, or unconventional achievements. It’s not that you’re against tradition, it’s just that your checklist for life looks a bit different, and that’s totally fine… even if they don’t get it.

14. You communicate a bit differently than them.

Candid shot of small group of friends sitting together at the table in a coffee shop, chatting and enjoying coffee.

Trying to communicate with your family can feel like you’re speaking a foreign language. You’re straightforward, maybe a bit too franky for their liking, and that can lead to some interesting conversations, not to mention plenty of misunderstandings. However, it’s not for lack of trying. You’re just wired differently, and that’s part of your charm. Hopefully, you’ve managed to find a way to navigate those conversations without wanting to rip your hair out!

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Jennifer Still is a writer and editor with more than 10 years of experience. The managing editor of Bolde, she has bylines in Vanity Fair, Business Insider, The New York Times, Glamour, Bon Appetit, and many more. You can follow her on Twitter @jenniferlstill
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