How To Tell If He’s Bored With You And Already Looking Elsewhere

Think you’re in a relationship rut? Maybe the guy you’re dating feels it too. While a bit of boredom happens from time to time, sometimes the problem is more permanent and there’s no amount of effort to reignite the spark that can save it. Here are 10 signs he’s over your relationship and is already checking out his other options.

  1. He doesn’t have much to say. You used to be able to have lots of interesting chats, but lately he’s all about “k” and “cool.” Receiving one-letter or one-word answers to your texts is super-frustrating but if it happens regularly it could be a sign he’s just not feeling it anymore. It’s like he can’t even be bothered to type you a message.
  2. He can’t handle any little request. What happens when people get bored? They start to become irritable. So, your boyfriend might seem like any little thing you ask of him, like helping you with something after work or checking out a new restaurant for dinner, is a huge deal worthy of causing a fight. Ugh.
  3. He seems to have zero energy. Your guy used to be vibrant and full of energy, but lately it’s like he can’t be bothered to pluck up some energy to see you. He might blame it on his busy work week or family problems, but you can’t shake the feeling that he just doesn’t want to hang with you. If he’s suddenly got loads of excuses, that’s a sure sign he’s not being honest with you.
  4. He’s fine with everyone else, though. Aha! If a guy tells you he’s just tired or busy as an excuse (yet again) for why he can’t hang out but his energy comes back when he’s around his mates or other women, that’s a red flag he’s drained by your relationship. It sucks to see him have animated conversations with other people but then become a zombie with you.
  5. He looks around a lot. When you spend time with your boyfriend, he’s always looking around instead of paying attention to you. He might look at other women who walk into the restaurant where you’re having dinner or keep glancing at his texts when you’re trying to tell him something important. It’s no wonder you lose all interest in talking to him.
  6. He looks annoyed when you speak. When you try to engage in interesting conversation, he rolls his eyes, looks annoyed, or sighs. It’s like nothing you do interests him anymore, even though you’re jumping through hoops to try to connect with him. Maybe it’s better to stop trying to jump-start him back to life.
  7. He doesn’t seem to mind the silence. Being able to have comfortable silence with your partner is a great sign you’re connected and don’t need to fill every pause in conversation with words. But it’s a bad thing if the silence feels awkward when you’re together. It’s even worse if you try your best to fill it but he just shoots down your attempts.
  8. He ignores you. You’re hanging out at his place and instead of doing something with you, he’s chilling with a book and leaving you to entertain yourself. Um, what? Not only is he clearly bored, but it’s like he’s just going through the motions of spending time with you without actually spending time with you. This is probably because he feels guilty about being bored, but it would’ve been better if he hadn’t asked you to come over.
  9. He hates dates. You’ve noticed that other than some really dull hanging out sessions at his home, you’re not going out on dates anymore. In fact, you can’t remember the last time he even invited you out on a real date, like dinner or movies. When you suggest that you guys do something other than Netflix and chill, he’s never keen. The sure sign he’s bored in your relationship: he’s become boring!
  10. He’s never up for it. Another sign to look out for that tells you the guy’s super bored with your relationship is if he’s never keen on having sex. This could also possibly mean that he’s getting his satisfaction elsewhere, although sometimes the opposite happens: a guy who’s bored and getting more excitement in someone else’s bed might bring some of that passion back home to you. Ugh.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.