The signs of low emotional intelligence aren’t always super obvious to spot. However, when you’re interacting with someone who does any of the following things (or all of them, God forbid), it’s pretty clear that they’re lacking in socialization skills due to their low EQ. How do you know if your social skills are all but nonexistent? Look for these signs.
1. You overuse sarcasm and teasing.
Yeah, it’s funny to be sarcastic sometimes, but if literally everything out of your mouth is a sly comment or a “joking” taunt, your social skills really suck. First of all, you have to read the room — sarcasm in settings where you don’t know people well or you’re expected to mind your Ps and Qs is not a good look and will make you seem clueless and rude.
2. You never make eye contact or maintain way too much physical distance.
You’re not trying to be aloof by darting your eyes everywhere but them or by staying 10 feet away, but it certainly seems that way. Obviously, you don’t want someone all up in your personal space (or vice versa), but being too stand-offish makes you seem sketchy and like you’re a bit weird.
3. You always overreact to constructive criticism.
I get it — hearing that you’re not perfect really sucks sometimes. Everyone gets a bit defensive now and then, but if your social skills suck, you take this to a whole other level. If you react to constructive criticism with anger, denial, or even blame-shifting, you need to get a grip and come back to reality. All this is going to do is make people hesitate to be honest with you, and once that happens, your relationships are done.
4. You seriously misinterpret social situations.
There’s nothing worse than being around someone who can’t read the room. Maybe you laugh during serious discussions or you never pick up on the group’s mood when it’s glaringly obvious to everyone else. This misinterpretation isn’t intentional; it’s a byproduct of social skills that suck. You really struggle to match your reactions with the social context, which can make things pretty awkward very quickly.
5. Your emotional responses are extremely inconsistent.
If people literally never know what version of you they’re going to get, your social skills suck (and you might need therapy/mood stabilizers). One day, you’re overly enthusiastic; the next, you’re completely disengaged. It’s not moodiness; it’s more about not understanding or regulating your feelings in a balanced way. It’s really hard to connect with someone like that, so keep that in mind.
6. You find it really hard to express yourself.
Talking about feelings? No, thanks. You have no idea how to verbally express what you think and feel, and it makes your relationships shallow and a bit confusing. It’s like you have a block when it comes to articulating emotions, either yours or even understanding other people’s. If you don’t share these things, your relationships can’t have any depth.
7. You’re always forgetting names or other important details.
This isn’t just forgetfulness; it’s a sign your social skills suck. Remembering personal info is how you show people that they matter and are important to you. When you always have to ask someone their name or forget big stories or details they’ve told you even just a few hours ago, it makes you look like you’re either not paying attention or just aren’t interested. Yikes.
8. You give a lot of unsolicited advice.
There’s always that one person who’s ready to dish out advice, asked for or not. If this is you, your social skills suck. You think You’re being helpful, but it often comes off as intrusive or presumptuous. It shows you don’t understand or respect boundaries and that you also can’t tell when your feedback is actually warranted and welcome. Your heart might be in the right place, but your timing and approach? Not so much.
9. You don’t acknowledge other people’s success.
It’s great to celebrate your own wins, but what about acknowledging other people’s too? If you’re always overlooking the milestones and accomplishments of the people around you, it ends up making them feel a) like you don’t care about them and b) like you’re a bit of a narcissist. I’m not saying you need to throw a ticker-tape parade when Susan in HR loses three pounds or when Bill the IT guy sells his old guitar on eBay for $100, but a simple “well done” or “congrats” goes a long way.
10. You’d rather talk via text than face-to-face.
Some people prefer texting or emailing over face-to-face conversations, not just for convenience, but because they’re uncomfortable with direct interactions. If this is you, it could be because your social skills suck. It’s so much easier to hide behind your keyboard or smartphone than it is to say what you think/feel/really mean with actual words.
11. You interrupt or talk over people a lot.
Interrupting or talking over people isn’t just rude; it’s a hallmark of someone whose social skills seriously suck. This behavior shows a lack of respect and proves that you really don’t have the whole “active listening” thing mastered. It’s as if what you have to say is always more important than anyone else’s contribution. Not only does this alienate people, but it also makes them think you’re a major you-know-what.
12. You never know any interest in other people’s lives.
Ever chat with someone who never asks about your life? They might go on about their day, their plans, their problems, but never stop to inquire about yours. If you’re that person, you’re kinda thew worst. This one-way street approach to conversation is a classic sign of having sucky social skills. It’s not necessarily self-absorption; sometimes, you just don’t realize that your head is up your own backside. Do better.
13. You’re completely oblivious to social etiquette.
Social norms and etiquette? People might as well be speaking Greek for all the understanding you have of those things. People whose social skills suck — we’re talking about you here! — often miss or ignore these unwritten social rules. Whether it’s talking loudly on the phone in quiet places or not saying “thank you” when it’s expected, this lack of awareness can make social situations awkward for everyone involved.
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