When describing yourself, you might say that you like having things a certain way and you know what you like versus what you don’t. You might also admit that you’re a bit of a live wire, blowing up when things don’t impress you. However, the truth is that you might be a full-blown control freak! Here are 15 signs that may be the case — the sooner you’re honest with yourself, the sooner you can correct course.
1. You don’t do change.
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You have your set way of doing things and you don’t want to change your plans or routines for anyone. In reality, you’re probably afraid of change because it takes you out of your comfort zone. Sadly, this unwillingness to adapt and embrace a bit more flexibility means you’re totally ignoring how game-changing it could be to usher something new into your life.
2. You refuse to delegate.
You want to be in charge of everything, which means you struggle to delegate tasks to other people. You’d rather suffer and risk burnout than hand over a task. If you’re forced to, you’ll have sleepless nights, wishing you could be doing it instead. You think you’re the only one who can do the job correctly, so the idea of someone else taking the reins is a total nightmare.
3. You’re the king or queen of unsolicited advice.
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When a friend pours their heart out to you, you don’t really listen to them so much as tell them what they should do and why it’s the best idea. This can make people feel steamrolled, and it’s not cool. You have to respect other people’s feelings, experiences, and preferences. You can’t tell people how to live their lives, though control freaks like to think they can.
4. You get mad if people don’t take your advice.
Not only do you try to tell people what they should do, but you get mad or feel personally offended if they don’t follow your advice. You’re sure you know the right answers and feel like anyone who doesn’t want to follow your lead just doesn’t know what they’re doing. You might even hope they fail if they choose a path you’re not a fan of, and that’s incredibly vindictive.
5. You want details about everything.
You feel anxious if you’re out of the loop of any situation even a little bit. So, when your friend tells you they’re going on a hot date, you’ll want every little detail, down to what time they arrived and what they ate for dinner. Although this shows you’re interested, it also looks a little too clingy. People are allowed to keep some details to themselves!
6. You’re stuck in your routine.
Everyone has their own routines, but you might be a little too snug with yours. If there’s a change that’s out of your control, such as the weather ruining your picnic plans or morning traffic making you late, you lose your cool. You can’t handle anything getting in your way or derailing your day. Sorry, but there are some things you just can’t control.
7. You’re way too judgmental.
You have a very rigid idea of what things and people should be like, so anything that deviates from your list automatically draws your judgment and ire. From the way people dress to the jobs they have to the people they hang around with, you have a serious problem with anything you don’t get to dictate.
8. You’re filled with negative energy.
If you’re always trying to control everything and looking for flaws, it won’t be long before you become a major pessimist. People will feel the negative energy that comes off you, and it’s really draining, not to mention a little scary. Control freaks tend to be super moody, largely because it’s impossible to control everything, and that’s not the kind of person anyone wants to be around.
9. You criticize everything people do for you.
Your partner buys you flowers and you say they’re not your favorite or that there aren’t enough in the bouquet. Your friend makes you soup when you’re sick but you’re quick to point out that chicken noodle is the best for a cold, not tomato. You criticize everything instead of seeing the goodness in people’s actions.
10. You can’t handle it when people criticize you.
While you love to point out other people’s flaws and shortcomings since they don’t align with your own ideals, you’re definitely not open to receiving criticism or feedback. You’re extremely sensitive to what other people say and often become emotional or frustrated when someone tells you that you’ve done something wrong. Double standards, much?
11. You’re a party pooper.
When going on vacation with your friends or partner, you want to plan everything down to the last minute. This includes where you go to eat, what activities you do every day, and what time you head back to the hotel at night. While you need your routines to feel positive, it’s causing the other people on your trip to feel claustrophobic. A bit of compromise goes a long way!
12. You have trust issues.
Being a control freak can be linked to trust issues. This is because you don’t trust anyone around you to meet your high expectations and standards. You want people to jump through hoops for you and when they don’t, you feel like it’s a personal betrayal rather than the person exercising their personal choice.
13. You hate surprises.
If someone throws you a surprise birthday party, you freak out — and not in a good way! Instead of feeling excited, you’re anxious and upset because you didn’t get to pick the theme, the guest list, or what food is on offer. You hate surprises because they’re an example of things you can’t control in life, and that grates you.
14. You snap when people can’t offer you concrete answers.
When you ask someone for advice and they offer what you believe to be meaningless platitudes like “I’m sure you’ll be okay” or “Maybe it’ll all work out,” you can’t handle it. You want certainty and facts, but it’s unrealistic to expect others to be a crystal ball, revealing your future. No wonder they’re walking around on eggshells.
15. You have perfectionist tendencies.
You might feel that you have to be perfect to reduce your stress level. By working hard to control your situation, feelings, and plans perfectly, you feel safe and like you can ensure the best outcomes. Reality check: nothing’s set in stone! Being obsessed with perfection will make you miserable — it’s not worth it.
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