Signs You’re In A Loveless Relationship And Need To Get Out

The notion that love lasts forever is one that we all want to believe in. Unfortunately, it’s just not realistic. In some relationships, the love just disappears and you could end up trapped in a miserable situation without even realizing it. Here are a few signs that you’re in a loveless relationship so you don’t have to waste your time on something that has clearly run its course.

  1. Sex feels like a chore. Can you remember the last time you and your partner were intimate? Like, really passionate? Couples who aren’t really feeling each other anymore will notice a decline in sex drive. You either don’t have sex at all or when you do, it feels like you’re doing it out of obligation. Even loving couples who are busy and can’t find the time to do it often still make it a passionate, intimate act whenever they get a chance.
  2. You don’t miss them when they’re gone. It’s healthy for couples to do things without each other. The problems come in when you don’t ever miss them when they’re gone. If you go on a girls trip with your friends and you don’t miss them in the slightest, it could be a sign you just don’t care about being apart. A little practice of absence makes the heart grow fonder is good for a relationship. However, if it’s more of an out of sight, out of mind feeling, the love may have left the building.
  3. You never want to be touched by your partner or vice versa. Physical touch is an important part of creating and fostering a bond in your relationship. Holding hands, hugging, or just placing a hand on your partner can give you a rush of endorphins. But if the idea if touching them doesn’t appeal to you, you probably don’t have any desire towards them anymore. Of course, it can go both ways. If your partner never wants to engage in physical touch, they don’t feel the love either.
  4. You’d rather hang out with your friends than your partner. Friend time is very important, especially when you’re in a cohabitating relationship. It’s great to get out and see your friends, but if you find yourself planning more and more outings with them just to get away from your partner or you’re more excited about seeing your friends than going on dates, you’re probably over the relationship.
  5. You find them to be extremely boring. At the beginning of your relationship, you probably found your partner so fascinating. You wanted to learn everything about their life, family, job, etc. Now, the thought of listening to them talk about their favorite hobby bores you to tears. You just don’t care anymore. Maybe you don’t even feel like telling them stories about your life because you just can’t stand engaging in conversation with them. This isn’t a normal relationship behavior. Even couples who have been together forever could find chatting about their menu for the week fascinating.
  6. There are changes in the way you fight. All couples argue in one way or another. It’s typical and a sign of a healthy relationship. There are two tell-tale signs your relationship is loveless in terms of fighting: You either never argue with each other or you have the same fight over and over again. By not arguing with each other, it’s a sign that you simply don’t care enough to bother with a fight. There’s no passion. It just doesn’t matter to you. If you fight over and over again about the same thing, it’s a sign that your communication is not healthy. You can’t compromise or come to an agreement so the argument just keeps going in circles.
  7. Everything about your partner annoys you. Everyone has their own quirks that make them special. Maybe your partner has a silly way they laugh when they’re watching a funny movie. At the beginning of your relationship, you might have found these quirks adorable. When you’re relationship has become loveless, the cute, weird things they used to do suddenly irk you to your core. You can’t stand them. When you’re in love, you love everything about your partner. When you fall out of love, you become easily annoyed with them.
  8. Neither of you is making an effort. When you’re in a relationship, you make time for one another. You plan dates, you bring them little surprises, and you put in the effort to foster your relationship. When things turn loveless, the effort goes away. You don’t care to put in the effort, you may not even want to. When both you and your partner are showing no signs of fostering the relationship, it’s time to call it quits. There’s no point in continuing a loveless relationship that neither of you is invested in anymore.
  9. You find yourself feeling jealous of other couples. You’re not one to compare your relationship to other people’s but you do it all the time now. You hate hearing about your friends’ happy relationships because yours just… isn’t. Seeing happy couples is equally as frustrating because you want what they have. That’s probably because what you have isn’t so great anymore.
  10. You suddenly have a wandering eye. You can’t help but notice attractive people when you go out. It’s not that you were ever blind to them, it’s just that they’re way more on your radar than they ever used to be and in a totally different way. Maybe you consider cheating or you actually do it. Either way, this is not a good sign.
Jennifer Still is a writer and editor with more than 10 years of experience. The managing editor of Bolde, she has bylines in Vanity Fair, Business Insider, The New York Times, Glamour, Bon Appetit, and many more. You can follow her on Twitter @jenniferlstill