Finding someone to grow old with is widely considered one of the biggest ambitions of our lives. But the truth is that not everyone is cut out for relationships and the complications that come with it. Maybe you’ve got some baggage that keeps getting in the way of your happiness or maybe you just like being a lone wolf. Either way, there’s no shame in being different. But being aware of how you’re wired can help you adapt and better navigate life, feelings, and romance. If you recognize these subtle signs, you’re probably the kind of man who will never be satisfied in relationships.
1. You value your freedom over everything else.
Relationships will demand and require things from you. You’ve got to be willing to adjust certain approaches, tweak your personality, and make sacrifices to make the relationship successful. You know this but you’d rather not make these concessions and you hate the idea of being unable to do anything you want, whenever you like. The mere thought of giving up your freedom and adjusting your lifestyle to accommodate someone else makes your skin crawl. You want to only prioritize your wants and feelings without feeling guilty about it.
2. You’re very engrossed in your work.
Your work and career mean everything to you. It feels like that’s what you were put on this earth to do and you’re never happier than when you’re pouring yourself into it. If you had to choose between a career opportunity or decision, no matter how small, and any person or thing, your career would win, without hesitation, every time.
3. You lose too much of yourself in relationships.
Some people can’t be in relationships without sacrificing. They change a lot more than they’d like—even when they put up boundaries —and before they know it, they’re unable to recognize who they’ve become. If you’re a man who shares this experience, you’ll have a hard time feeling fulfilled in relationships.
4. You have trust issues.
Maybe you’ve been in love before or had a relationship you thought would last forever but then they hurt you deeply and that pain changed you forever. Now, you’re completely indifferent to love and relationships. It’s almost impossible to imagine letting yourself be that vulnerable again. When you meet someone new, all you’re doing is waiting for the other shoe to drop.
5. You feel better when you’re on your own.
You have a fulfilling life. You’re completely happy being alone and rarely ever find yourself wishing you had a partner. When you’re in a relationship, you’re constantly stressed. It feels like all you do is mess up or become a smaller version of yourself. But once the relationship ends, you feel like you can finally breathe again.
6. You can’t shake off your fear of commitment.
Perhaps due to unresolved trauma from your past, you have a very low tolerance for disappointment, and being in a relationship just seems like begging to be hurt. Or maybe you think there’s something seriously broken about you and you don’t have the right things to bring to a relationship. These wounds and emotions keep you from finding lasting satisfaction in relationships.
7. You’re a free spirit.
You’re a man who likes to wander the world and shake things up as often as possible. The only thing you owe allegiance to is adventure. You can wake up one morning and move to the other end of the world with nothing but a backpack on your shoulders. Happiness to you is about living life to the fullest even if that means not holding down a regular job or never staying in one place for longer than six months.
8. You feel anxious and out of sorts in relationships.
Healthy relationships are supposed to feel easy, calm, and safe but, for you, the reverse is true. You’re never more uneasy and stressed out than when you’re in a relationship. You’re constantly worried about the state of things, overanalyzing your partner’s comments and feelings, and it’s all too overwhelming for you.
9. You know you’ll end up cheating.
You like being able to meet a new person, flirt with them unabashedly, and see where it leads. You know in your heart that if you had to give that up, sooner or later you’d go back to your old ways, and that infidelity could hurt the person you care about. So, unless you can find someone who wouldn’t mind your wandering eye, you’ll never be satisfied in a relationship.
10. You don’t want to be responsible for someone else.
It’s a lot of work being accountable to and for someone; to know that the decisions you make will impact their lives; to have to be there for them when they need it even if it’s inconvenient for you. Not everyone can bear the weight of this responsibility. If you’re one of them that’s a tell-tale sign that you may not be well-suited for relationships.
11. You’re very reluctant to make compromises.
You want to get home from work every day and watch whatever you want to see on TV without debating it with anyone. You want the freedom to quit your job when you like, to decorate your home however you want, and not talk to a single soul unless you desire to. Unfortunately, when you’re in a relationship, you’ll have to make big and small compromises or it won’t work out.
12. You have to wear a mask for relationships to work.
You feel like you can’t be yourself in relationships. You have to pretend to be excited about spending a lot of time together or doing activities you don’t like. Most of the time, you’re doing or saying what you think is expected of you because those actions or feelings don’t come to you naturally. You sense that if you stopped pretending and let your real self shine through, your relationships wouldn’t survive the revelation.
13. You get bored of people fairly quickly.
Happy, fulfilling, long-lasting relationships are going to be an elusive concept for you if you’re the kind of man who gets bored with romantic partners easily. It doesn’t matter how much you like a person, sooner or later being with them will bore you and you’ll be itching to leave.
14. Your expectations about love are too idealistic.
You have grand ideas of who your perfect partner would be from how they’d look to what kind of job they’d be doing, and how they’d spend their free time. Your standards are impossibly high and non-negotiable so you’re always nitpicking everything current and potential partners do and writing them off once they fail to meet minor criteria.
15. Relationships are more of a burden than a blessing in your eyes.
Sure, relationships can be challenging and frustrating sometimes. But to you, they’re that way all or most of the time. You don’t enjoy sticking around and dealing with the stuff that comes after the honeymoon phase like meeting parents, moving in together, and discussing long-term goals. You’d rather stay in the fun, easy-breezy phase forever—anything more is a chore to you.
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