Love is a many splendored thing, right? Actually, sometimes love feels like the biggest pain in the ass. I think we all reach a certain breaking point in our lives where we think, “You know what, screw this — down with love!” We swear off men and roll our eyes at all the happy couples we see, among other things. Have you reached that point? Are you unsure? Here are some signs that you’re unhealthily cynical about love.
You can’t stand romcoms.
Sure, it’s one thing to prefer a David Lynch film fest over a Nora Ephron one, but do you find yourself getting to the point where every romantic movie ever just makes you retch? Are you wishing Harry never met Sally? Want to throttle Holly Golightly with her own cat? Does the mere sight of Ryan Gosling make you shudder? Yup, you’re totally over it.
You eye roll everything having to do with love.
Friend’s boyfriend gets her flowers? Eye roll. Guy sends you a nice message on Tinder? Eye roll. Get hit on at a bar? Yup, you guessed it, it’s another eye roll. You’re working Liz Lemon eye roll powers.
You don’t give anyone a chance.
This is for all the single gals out there who are just. So. Over. It. And because of it, you refuse to give anybody new a chance. You just assume that all guys (or girls) are solely looking to get into your pants, and that’s it. You think, “Why even bother?” So you just sit yourself down, and turn yourself off. You could be HUGELY missing out, but your powers of cynicism are just that strong.
You side-eye your friends’ boyfriends.
You give all your friends’ BFs major side-eye, because you’re just waiting for them to screw up and have your friends come running you to in tears. You expect any minor tiff they have to turn into an all-out war, with you having to play the role of therapist. You just don’t trust them not to screw it up.
You’ve shut down.
You turned yourself off, completely. You’re not open to new love, not even open to flirting. You’re like a robot that went into power down mode. You may as well wear a sign that says, “No, don’t even.” Because you can’t. Even.
You stopped caring about your appearance.
Okay, okay, here me out. It’s not just, “I’m making a quick Starbucks run so I’m going to go sans makeup.” No. It’s more like, “I haven’t showered in 4 days and I’m not gonna start now.” Giving up on your appearance speaks to a larger issue. And not just makeup, but you’ve stopped bothering with cute outfits or perfect hair. You think, “What’s the point of primping? I’m not going to meet anyone, anyway.” Who’s rolling up to the bar in sweatpants and unkempt hair? It’s YOU, superstar!
Weddings make you vom.
You might not even go to the wedding; it all depends upon who’s getting married, and how much it’s going to cost you. And you secretly place bets with yourself on how long it’s going to last. What? You can’t help it. You call it being realistic; everyone else calls it being cynical. Meh.
You decline any and all dates.
You’re not willing to take a chance, because all you can think is, “What’s the point?” You know there’s no one out there you’d want to date. Yeah, your friend raves about her boyfriend’s coworker, but what does she know, anyway?
You have an irrational hatred towards Valentine’s Day.
Sure, Valentine’s Day can be cheesy as hell, but it’s about embracing the cheese, or at the very least, being able to ignore it without hating on it. To you, it’s not just another holiday or another ordinary day; it’s an evil day designed to make you feel bad, and you scorn anyone who celebrates it.
You assume your partner is cheating on you.
If you’re in a couple, you’re anything but optimistic about it. If they’re late meeting up with you or take more than 30 seconds to respond to your text, you assume it’s because they’re with someone else. Maybe you even go through their phone or emails for “proof” of said cheating. Why? Because you couldn’t possibly believe that anyone would want to be with you, or stay with you.
Hey, it’s okay to not be optimistic 24/7. What’s not okay is completely giving up, because you’re doing yourself a huge disservice. You’re worth it, you’re worth love and worthy of love, truly. Don’t let the cynicism win.
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