‘Lost’ Sinead O’Connor Hospitalized Days After Her 17-Year-Old Son Took His Own Life

WARNING: This post contains talk of suicide.

Sinead O’Connor has been admitted to the hospital just days after her 17-year-old son Shane took his own life. The 55-year-old singer revealed on Twitter last night that she was with police and was being taken to see medics as she felt “lost” and “hates” herself for the boy’s death. “I’m sorry I upset everyone. I am lost without my kid and I hate myself. Hospital will help a while,” she shared after a series of troubling tweets.

  1. O’Connor has always been open about her mental health struggles. She’s battled with depression and anxiety for many years, and it’s no secret that grief, especially caused by such a horrific loss, would trigger some potentially dangerous thoughts and feelings. O’Connor is doing the right thing by asking for help.
  2. She was really struggling with trying to stay alive. Losing a child is a terrible, terrible thing, and O’Connor felt she didn’t want to be alive without Shane. “I’m a piece of s**t. I don’t deserve to live and everyone who knows me will be better off without me. I am sorry for all the harm I caused,” she tweeted on January 13. She also apologized to her son’s father and admitted that “I’m lonely. Twitter is for lonely people.”
  3. O’Connor later deleted her original tweet and posted an apology. “I’m sorry for what I tweeted yesterday. I’m very upset. My son was the love of my life,” she wrote. “I am sorry I’ve upset Tusla and just about every other human being on earth also. I am ruined without my son. I am sorry I’ve upset anyone. I’m a twat.”
  4. Shane had been feeling suicidal for a while. O’Connor claimed that the Child and Adolescent Mental Health services had discharged Shane a month prior despite the fact that he had made “detailed funeral plans.” Because of this, she was angry and lashed out, blaming CAHMAS and Tusla, the child and family agency, for “failing” her son.
  5. O’Connor blames herself for her son’s death as well. “Please don’t imagine I am less than keenly aware I failed my child, alongside Tusla and the HSE and the Irish State. We all failed him. Welcome to Ireland. Suicide will not bring you peace. It is a lie,” she wrote in now-deleted posts, according to the Daily Mail. “Therefore the next poor well-meaning sod who says to me about my son ‘at least he is at peace now’ is going to get their lights punched out. How does anyone know he’s at peace? I can tell you his face was as tormented as it’s been for months. No difference at all.”

Here’s hoping that O’Connor finds the help and peace she needs in this very tough time. It’s not easy, and the healing will take a very, very long time. The pain will likely never fully go away, but losing two lives when one was too many is just not an option.

Jennifer Still is a writer and editor with more than 10 years of experience. The managing editor of Bolde, she has bylines in Vanity Fair, Business Insider, The New York Times, Glamour, Bon Appetit, and many more. You can follow her on Twitter @jenniferlstill