Single Or Taken — At This Point In My Life, I Really Don’t Care Which One I Am

There have been times in the past when I would’ve done anything to be in a relationship, but I’m not that girl anymore. As I’ve matured, I’ve become more and more content with being single. I wouldn’t turn down the right man if he came into my life, but this is why I’m not freaking out about finding love:

  1. Being single is kind of great. I genuinely enjoy the freedom I have as a single woman, and I’m in no rush to give it up. When I eventually do find a guy I want to be with, it’s going to be because I feel like my single life is worth trading in for the love he gives me. Until then, I’m going to enjoy riding solo just as I have for quite some time already.
  2. I don’t want to settle for someone who’s not worth it. Desperate times make us take desperate measures, and when we’re desperate for love, we often cling to the first person who shows interest in us in hopes that he’ll give us what we’ve been missing. I’ve been guilty of doing that in the past, but now, I know it’s better to hold out a bit longer for someone who proves that he’s worth my time instead of someone who makes me feel just so-so about love.
  3. I’m in no rush. I’m still young. I have plenty of time to find someone who’d make me happy. For now, I’m spending my time living my life the way I want to, and hey, if my perfect guy ends up making an appearance, then great. But I’m not going to try to wish time away just so I could meet him faster.
  4. I’m fine with the love I get elsewhere. I have a wonderful family, the best friends a girl could ask for, and even a cat who doesn’t completely hate me. I don’t feel like I’m lacking love just because I’m not getting it from a romantic partner. It would be downright ignorant of me to disregard all of the amazing people in my life and suggest that the joy they give me could never compare to the happiness I might get from a boyfriend.
  5. Being in a relationship is just a small contribution to my happiness. Most of my joy comes from within, though I’ve also had a lot of help from my job, hobbies, and loved ones. I’m sure that finding a great partner would contribute even more to my happiness, but it would really just be the cherry on top rather than the entire sundae. I’ll be pumped when I find my ideal partner, but until then, my mood’s not going to be dampened.
  6. I trust the process. I really do believe that what’s meant to be will happen, so who am I to try to control destiny? I’m willing to be single and go on as many lackluster dates as needed if it means I’m on the right path to finding love. Even if I still have a ways to go, I won’t let it get me down — someone out there is waiting for me to meet him, and I’m not going to find him by forcing my way there.
  7. I want to make room for the person who’s right for me. One of my biggest concerns is becoming so desperate for love that I date the wrong person just for the sake of being in a relationship and then miss out on the right person as a result. I do my best to pick my partners carefully, and I’m not going to screw that up by pairing up with someone just for the hell of it while knowing that someone way better for me might come into my life at any given moment.
  8. I prefer to go with the flow. I like to think of myself as a pretty chill person, especially in my love life. I’m not going to push and pull my way through dating in a last-ditch attempt to find my happily ever after. I trust that if I just go wherever life may take me, I’ll end up where I need to be with the right person by my side.
  9. I know I’ll find someone eventually. Never once have I panicked about being single forever. I know I have a lot to offer, and I’m confident that the right man will appreciate that one day. Just because I’m single now doesn’t mean it’ll be that way for the rest of my life, so why would I work myself up into a frenzy worrying about such a ridiculous thing?
  10. I don’t feel like my life is missing anything. I’m lucky enough to be living the exact life I want right now, and even though I’m happy to add on whatever might improve it even more, I don’t feel like there are any missing pieces to the puzzle. I don’t feel some sad “void” that some unhappily single people talk about, but at the same time, I’m not going to turn away from love if it starts walking my way. I’ll just have to see what happens and take it from there.
Averi is a word nerd and Brazilian jiu jitsu brown belt. She's also a TEFL/TESOL-certified ESL teacher and an equine enthusiast. Originally from Pennsylvania, she lived in Costa Rica for a while before moving to Australia. In addition to her work as a writer and editor for Bolde, she also has bylines with Little Things and regularly writes for Jiu-Jitsu Times.

You can follow Averi on Instagram @bjjaveri or on Twitter under the same handle.