We Slept In The Same Bed But Didn’t Do Anything & It Was So Much More Intimate

Getting down is seen as the pinnacle of intimacy, but that’s not exactly true. There are a lot of ways to bond with someone, as I recently found out. I slept in the same bed with a guy and we didn’t have sex, and I’ve actually never felt closer to someone in my life. Sleeping next to someone you like is really special and this experience proved it.

  1. I wasn’t ready for anything more. It was early on in our relationship. We’d been dating for a few weeks and I just didn’t feel ready to take our relationship to the next level. I like to be sure that the guy I’m with is looking for more than a quickie, y’know? So, one night when I stayed over at his house, I fell asleep during a movie and he suggested I spend the night. I hesitated, but he was quick to clarify that we didn’t have to do anything.
  2. I was tired and he seemed sincere so I agreed to sleep over. I really liked the guy and felt I could trust him. I also liked being with him and didn’t feel like going back home. He suggested I sleep in his bed and he could take the sofa, but I told him I should take the sofa because I didn’t mind. After going back and forth in this super-polite way, he then said, “Why don’t we just sleep in the same bed?”
  3. I wanted to roll my eyes. I immediately thought the guy was trying his luck, hoping that we could end up getting down in the bed once we were both snuggled up under the duvet, but he was quick to say that it would just be sleeping and nothing more. Hmm. I decided to give him a chance even though I had some doubts. I knew that if he tried anything, I’d be out of that bed like a lightning flash and I’d know I couldn’t trust him.
  4. We didn’t just sleep. No, we didn’t do anything, if that’s what you’re thinking. We ended up chatting for three hours while snuggled up in bed. It was so comfortable and so much fun. I felt like I was really getting an in-depth view of him and what he was all about. Plus, the fact that we were in his bed chatting instead of in a busy nightclub made the experience feel so much more intimate. We weren’t naked, but we were laying our souls bare for each other. It was straight out of a rom-com.
  5. Then we fell asleep. I think I passed out first, but I woke up around four in the morning and saw that he was still sleeping next to me. He looked so peaceful and his arm was gently wrapped around my shoulder. I felt safe and loved and it was a totally new, intense experience.
  6. Cuddling has health benefits, so no wonder my endorphins were flowing. It wasn’t just my imagination for how cozy and lovely I felt. Research has found that cuddling with someone gives you a sense of overall well-being. It really does release hormones such as oxytocin in the brain that boost your mood, and I felt like I was on cloud nine.
  7. It also strengthens people’s bonds. Interesting research has found that 94% of couples who spent the night in contact with each other, such as by cuddling, expressed feeling happier about their relationship compared to 68% that didn’t touch. Wow! There’s a lot to be said for non-physical contact. It’s really underrated, in my opinion.
  8. I felt like we achieved something better than going all the way. Sure, endorphins that get released during and after physical contact are great and all, but they’re not the most important thing. We didn’t do anything, but we didn’t really need to because we had been so emotionally intimate that night by talking for so long and by sleeping next to each other while our bodies were in contact in a romantic way. It was like we were getting to know each other on a subconscious and deep level. It felt amazing and he felt that too.
  9. He sent me a text the next day. It was similar to things guys would send me when we’d taken things to the next level physically only to realize that it had been too much, too soon. He said, “I’ve never done that before.” But this time, the message felt awesome instead of troubling. He went on to say how great it had felt to have me there overnight with him. He wanted to cuddle again and made no mention of intimacy.
  10. It showed me he was looking for something real. Anyone can sleep with another person. But it takes a lot more for two people to cuddle and fall asleep next to each other without anything being on the table. That’s a whole different level of intimacy, and by doing that with this guy I could see that he wasn’t just looking for something like a fling. He was definitely interested in having a relationship with me that was about emotional intimacy, not just the fleeting physical kind that can be so meaningless. Yup, he was definitely a catch!
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.